Saturday, November 24, 2007

The Kick's Too Wide on This One

One way to look at Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal would be to see it as the latest in the spate of sports movies that Bollywood's been churning out lately (Apne, Chak De India...). Another way would be to look at it as the latest "crossover" movie from a "young and fresh" director.

Of course, neither view would be accurate. For one, it is not a crossover film; it is instead a film targeted squarely at the desi population residing in the British Isles. It is based in the UK and deals with issues of desis based here. And it latches on to a sport that appeals to that section of the Indian diaspora.

Inherent in this choice of sport is also the difference from the other "sports movies": While Apne (boxing) and Chak De India (hockey) selected sports that are not necessarily the most popular among the masses, and deal with issues of sportspeople in these domains, Goal selects the sport (football) most popular among its target audience, and tries to ride on the formulae popularized by the numerous Hollywood movies on the subject.

The "Kabul Express" duo of Arshad Warsi and John Abraham is back in Goal. And like Kabul Express' Kabir Khan, Goal's director Vivek Agnihotri has smartly avoided putting any acting demands on John Abraham. There are only a couple of scenes where Abraham is expected to demonstrate some histrionic capabilities and, as expected, he delivers a big zero in that department.

Arshad Warsi, on the other hand, shows great maturity and versatility in a role that is relatively far removed from his core competence of comedy. Boman Irani is as dependable as ever in another addition to his repertoire of vastly diverse roles. Other supporting actors' performances are acceptable, except for that of Bipasha Basu, who hasn't grown at all professionally even after all these years in the trade.

And let's face it: just Boman Irani and Arshad Warsi can not power a film through, especially when the direction is as bad as in Goal. But to place the blame where it is due, the story and the screenplay are surely at fault here. Too bad for the director that he also shares credits for screenplay.

To be fair, the story concept is fine. It is conceivable that a dark horse would put all on the line, and come up from behind; that's what makes the sport so exciting. That the team members will rediscover themselves and re-evaluate their relationships is also a valid thread to follow. In fact, that is pretty much the story concept of every other American football movie.

The devil, however, is in the details. To begin with, the characters are not very well defined, though acceptable by Bollywood standards. What are not acceptable are the several incomprehensible turns of events. Several important events and turning points have been left unexplained or with loose threads.

Then, the way the whole premise of racism and discrimination is depicted seems to be very pre-1950s. This is not to say that there is no racism in Britain. Such a sweeping statement would most likely be untrue. But any racism that might be present is unlikely to be so rampant and blatant as several events are designed to convey.

Some parts are completely irrational and leave one completely incredulous. And of course, the "big surprises" don't surprise anyone.

All said and done, the direction is jerky and overly dramatic. And the uneven editing doesn't help.

Goal does have its moments, but they are more flashes in the pan than the silver lining behind the dark cloud. The scene depicting the crushing of the pride of the up-and-comer star Sunny Bhasin by the had-been, and now coach of a ragtag bunch, Tony Singh was a good thought, for instance. But it seems long drawn and boring because it quickly gets repetitive.

That said, there were a few moments that made me groan and the rest of the theater clap, whistle and cheer. Perhaps the director understands the psyche of the British Desi better than I do.

My verdict: Overall, a film best avoided.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Back to Base

This week I was out of town. My firm was facilitating culture-change workshops at hotels in Croydon and Gatwick for a large corporation. It was strange being away this week as both places were within easily commutable distances from my home. But my colleagues wanted to enjoy the hospitality of the hotels at the company's expense, and I didn't want to rock the boat, especially since I don't plan to work for this company for much longer.

One of my colleagues christened Croydon as "the hellhole of England". The Sesldon Park Hotel is quite good, though. It is comfortable, and has a well-landscaped golf course. It would appear, however, that the English haven't quite caught up to the American concept of business hotels. For while Selsdon Park is a four star place, it lacks some basic things one would expect: a radio alarm-clock (or any kind of alarm clock, for that matter) in the room, for instance. Or a vending machine where one could pick up a bottle of water or a snack at 1 am. My cribbing notwithstanding, the place does lend itself to leisurely walks in lush surroundings.

The Wednesday and Friday workshops were at the Gatwick Hilton, which is not bad at all for a transit hotel. However, I found the Felbridge Hotel, where we had the Thursday event, to be a much better venue for corporate workshops. It's quieter, plusher, classier, more comfortable, and frankly has better conference halls.

Click here to check out my pictures from Croydon of 6 Nov 2007.

On Friday evening, after having a look at the train schedule boards, I buy a Gatwick Express ticket with the intention of breaking my journey at Redhill to celebrate Diwali at a friend's place. Unfortunately, it would seem that I read the boards wrong for the Gatwick Express does not call anywhere between Gatwick and Victoria. So essentially I reach Victoria and take a Southern train back to get to Redhill.

Even so, I reach my friend's place before she was expecting me. Turns out she decided to "work from home" and slept through most of the afternoon, meaning that she hasn't had the time to make the laddoos. Argh!

While her husband had planned to get home early, the day is hardly going as per plan and he is stuck at work. So while we wait for him to get home, we chat as she irons the laundry. But it takes so long that I end up calling a couple of friends in New Delhi and doing a bit of shopping at the Sainsbury's around the corner before he finally arrives.

There is a quick ritualistic worship of Lakshmi and Ganesh. I help the duo make some laddoos, and then it's time for fireworks. We go down and meet some of their colleagues and friends, and together light up the fireworks. Consuming the whole stock takes close to 2 hrs, much to the charging of the British neighbors, I am sure.

The pyrotechnic material exhausted, we suddenly remember that we are hungry and rush back home. While some of us part ways, about 12 of us go up to my friend's place where we are served daal-stuffed paranthas, matar paneer, mirch ka achar and Bollywood music. I gobble it all down with ferocity and get out of the door just as the clock strikes 0020, leaving the others behind to booze, gambling and stale jokes.

While the National Rail website lists two trains to Victoria between 0030 and 0100 hrs, it turns out that due to maintenance work, there are no more trains departing from Redhill tonight. Instead of going back to my friend's place, I take a taxi home. The cab ride ends up costing me a cool £52. Heck, for that amount of money, I could have taken a return EasyJet flight to Basel or Marseilles. Oh, well!

Click here to check out my Diwali pictures (9 Nov 2007).

The Story of Diwali - The Legend of Rama

Happy Deepavali
The festival of lights

Today is दीपावली (Deepavali/ RO - Diipavălii/ IPA - di:pɑ:vəli:), commonly and correctly known to the West as the Hindu festival of lighs. In fact, the word Deepavali itself is a compound word formed by the combination of two Sanskrit (or Hindi tatsam) words: दीप (Deep/ RO - Diip/ IPA - di:p/ Meaning - lamp), and आवली (Avali/ RO - Avălii/ IPA - ɑ:vəli:/ Meaning - Line), and literally translates into „A Line of Lamps”.

Over the past few decades, the dimunitive दीवाली (Diwali/ RO - Diivalii/ IPA - di:vɑ:li:) has become the more common word used to refer to the festival within India. In Nepal, it is more commonly known as Tihar (Meaning - festival) and Swanti. In addition to the Hindus, the festival is also celebrated by Sikhs, Jains and Nepalese Buddhists.

Legend goes that the origin of the festival lies in रामायण (Ramayana/ RO - Ramaiăn/ IPA - ɹɑ:mɑ:jʌn), one of the two major epics (the other one being महाभारत/ Mahabharata/ RO - Măhabharăt/ IPA - Mʌhɑ:bhɑ:ɹʌθ) of the Hindus. Ramayana is the story of मर्यादापुरुशोत्तम (Maryadapurushottam/ RO - Măriadapurușottăm/ IPA - Mʌɹjɑ:ðɑ:pʊɹʊʃɒθʌm/ Meaning - the most honorable of men) Lord राम (Rama/ RO - Ram/ IPA - ɹɑ:m), the crown prince of the prosperous northern Indian region of अयोध्या (Ayodhya/ RO - Ăeodhia/ IPA - ʌjɒðjɑ:), who decided to go on a self-imposed exile from communal life for 14 years to fulfil a promise his father, the dead king दशरथ (Dashrath/ RO - Dașrăth/ IPA - Dʌʃrʌθ) made to Rama's stepmother. Wife princess सीता (Sita/ RO - Siita/ IPA - Si:tɑ:) and loyal half-brother लक्ष्मण (Lakshman/ RO - Lăcșmăn/ IPA - Lʌkʃmʌn) followed Rama into the forest while half-brother भरत (Bharat/ RO - Bhărăt/ IPA - Bhʌrʌθ) stayed back to take care of the kingdom as Rama's leige.

After several adventurous years in the forest, the trio of Rama, Lakshman and Sita is broken up when Lanka's king रावण (Ravana/ RO - Ravăn/ IPA - Rɑ:vʌn) abducts Sita. Rama and Lakshman organize an army of monkeys and bears and launch an offensive on the mighty kingdom of Lanka. After an epic battle, Ravana is defeated and killed, and princess Sita reunited with her husband (the day is celebrated as Dashahara). Fortuitously, this happens just 20 days before the end of the 14 years of exile. Thus, after enjoying a few days of Lankan hospitality, the princes and the princess fly back to Ayodhya in an aeroplane lent to them by विभीषण (Vibhishana/ RO - Vibhișăn/ IPA - Vɪbhi:ʃʌn), Ravana's brother and the new king of Lanka .

When the three reach Ayodhya, the citizen welcome them and celebrate by lighting thousands of lamps to brigthen the moonless night. Deepavali, according to the legend, is the yearly commemoration of the return of the virtuous, victorious and beloved king of Ayodhya.

There is also another reason for celebrating Deepavali; one that is more practical or sociological. Deepavali is the "other" new year for the Hindus. While Holi, in spring, heralds the beginning of the year for the agricultural community, celebrating the harvest of the winter crop (rabi) harvest, Deepavali, in autumn, marks the transition from one financial year to another for the traders. Of course, the summer crop (kharif) harvest is also celebrated.

Communities within India celebrate the festival differently. For instance, in Bengal, the festival is more commonly known as Kaali Pooja, and is marked by worship of Goddess Kaali.

In most of India, though, the celebration starts in the evening with a ceremonial worship of the Goddess Lakshmi (the giver of prosperity) and Lord Ganesh (the giver of wisdom). Thereafter, diyas (earthern lamps filled with oil or ghee) are lit around the house. In recent times, candles and Christmas-light-style electric-lights have extensively supplemented, and even largely replaced, the diyas.

It's all fun and frolic after that. People, who can afford it, don new clothes and take presents and sweets to the homes of friends and neighbors. For many, especially children, the whole festival of Diwali is signified by one word: fireworks. It would be tough to find a Hindu who has never enjoyed lighting a sparkler, cracker, "bomb", "rocket", anar, or chakri on Diwali.

Of course, because of all these independent (meaning every home has its own) firework displays, Deepavali is the busiest day of the year for the fire brigades. The police is also on high alert because of high rates of alcoholism and gambling on this day, owing to the superstition that financial gains made on this day bode well for the rest of the year.

Another interesting fact is that Deepavali is always on a no-moon night. No-moon night is of special significant for those that follow the magical and the occult, and Deepavali is said to be the day when the magical and the spiritual powers are at their strongest. Thus, it is believed that there are countless occult rituals and ceremonies performed this night, though it is unverifiable considering that such ceremonies are performed in shrouds of secrecy.

Like many other Hindu festivals, Diwali is also spread over several days. In fact, the celebrations go on for 5 days, with the main festival flanked on both sides by subordinate ones. The first day is धन तेरस (Dhan Teras/ RO - Dhăn Terăs/ IPA - ðʌn θɛɹʌs). Dhan means wealth and Teras is diminutive or contracted form of त्रयोदशी (Trayodashi/ RO - Trăiodășii/ IPA - θɹʌjɒðʌʃi:) which means the 13th day, simply signifying that this is the 13th day of the second half of the month. It is considered auspicious to buy gold, silver and other metals on this day. Making other major purchases (e.g.- buying a car) is also considered good. This practice is perhaps a misunderstanding of the name of the day itself: The day is thought to be the day when धन्वन्तरी (Dhanvantari/ RO - Dhănvăntării/ IPA - ðʌnvʌntʌɹi:), the master of healing and the idol of doctors, appeared in the great churning of the Ksheer Sagar - while the day takes its name from Dhanvantari, it is possible that over time the commonfolk took it to mean wealth.

Day two is नरक चतुर्दशी (Narak Chaturdashi/ RO - Nărăc Chaturdășii/ IPA - Nʌɹʌk tʃʌθʊɹðʌʃi:). Narak is a deformation of the word नर्क (Narq/ Ro - Nărc/ IPA - Nʌɹk) which means hell, and Chaturdashi means the 14th day. It is said that Lord कृष्ण (Krisna/ RO - Crrșn/ IPA - Kɹʃn) killed नरकासुर (Narkasura/ RO - Nărcasur/ IPA - Nʌɹkɑ:sʊɹ/ Literally - the demon from hell) on this day. It is believed that taking a bath before sunrise, when the stars are still visible in the sky is equivalent to bathing in the holy Ganges. Many people go around the house, creating on the floor colorful patterns called rangolis using powders usually found in the kitchen - earlier it used to be different flours and ground spices, but nowadays edible colors are often used.

The third and the most important day is known as Lakshmi Pooja or Deepavali. The fourth day is गोवर्धन पूजा (Govardhan Pooja/ RO - Govărdhăn Puja/ IPA - Gɔ:vʌɹðʌn Pu:dʒɑ:) which symbolizes Lord Krishna's advice that humans should harmonize with nature. It is also known as annkoot signifying that thrashing of the newly harvested crop begins on this day. Additionally, as per the Vikram calendar, this is the first day of the new year.

The last day of the festivities is भाई दूज (Bhai Dooj/ RO - Bhai Duj/ IPA - Bhaɪ θu:dʒ) with Bhai standing for Brother and Dooj meaning the 2nd day. On this day, brothers and sisters meet to express their love and affection for each other.

In conclusion, I leave you with these words from the बृहदरण्यक उपनिषद (Brhadaranyak Upanishad, RO - Brhădarăniăc Upănișăd/ IPA - Bɹʌhʌðʌɹʌnjʌk ʊpʌnɪʃʌð), which sum up the message of this festival:

असदो मा सदगमय
तमसो मा ज्योतिर्गमय
मृत्योर्मा अमृतमगमय
ॐ शान्ति शान्ति शान्ति

RO transliteration:
Ăsădo ma sădgămăyă
Tămăso ma giotirgămăyă
Mrîtyor ma ămrătămgămăyă
Oum șanti șanti șantii

EN translation:
(O Lord, lead us)
From illusion towards the truth.
From darkness towards the light.
From mortality towards eternity.
Oum (the seminal sound) peace, peace, peace (May peace be unto the earth).

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Visa Blues

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Annoying Techies

I have to return my previous company's laptop to them, so I pick it up and wipe the dust. I need to retrieve my personal files before I send the machine back. But I am unable to log in either to the domain or on the local machine.

Since it has been a while since I used this machine, I reckon that I might have forgotten the password. Thus I write to the company techie requesting him to reset my account password. It is from his response that I learn that my network account has been deleted.

Further, he tells me, there is no local account.

Hmm...so is there a guest or temporary account that I could use to log in and retrieve my files?

There isn't, I am told. The only account on my machine is a localy cached domain account. No local accounts were created, and for a new domain account to be able to log on the machine requires a pre-established connection to the domain controller for authentication. Of course, for the machine to connect to the domain, one would have to first initiate a VPN tunnel to the network after first logging on to the machine. In other words, Catch 22.

He offers that once he receives the laptop back, he would be happy to scour the Desktop and My Documents of the machine and burn the personal files (if any) onto a disk and mail it to me.

Yeah, and what if I wouldn't be happy to let him have a looksy? These control-freak techies are among the rare group of people that manage to grind my gears.

Anyway, since no help is forthcoming from that channel, I know what has to be done. I burn the image of a Linux boot disc and Windows sam file editing utility (Click here to download the 3MB image - use this to burn the image to the CD. Do not copy/burn the file to the CD) onto a CD. Then I boot the machine from this CD and set the local machine's Administrator password to blank.

It's pretty straightforward after that: I restart the machine, booting it from the hard disk, and logging in as Administrator. Then I go through the hard disk, search around for my files, move all my files to a flash disk, and shut the machine down.

I will courier the machine back to Mr. Techie tomorrow.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Ironic

Just came across the song "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette (yes, I am a dinosaur). I have to say that I think the song is aptly titled.

And here's the irony: This song about ironies and titled "Ironic" has been written by a woman who has not the faintest idea of what irony means.

"An old man turned ninety-eight. He won the lottery and died the next day"
What's ironic about that? Well, it could be ironic if the guy died of chronic emphysema caused by inhaling all the rubber scratched off thousands of lottery tickets over decades.

"It's like rain on your wedding day"
Hmm....only ironic if you are marrying Surya bhagwan, the Sun God.

"Mr. Play-it-Safe was afraid to fly. He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye. He waited his whole damn life to take that flight. And as the plane crashed down..."
That could be ironic if he were flying to an aviophobics conference.

"It's meeting the man of my dreams, And then meeting his beautiful wife"
Really, Alanis, there is no irony in that. Well, okay, a little bit of irony if the wife is your "relationship advisor" you hired to improve your "luck", and one who had vowed never to marry at that.

"It's a traffic jam when you're already late"
That's not ironic - that's just an annoyance. Unless, of course, you are the town planner of your city and are late for receiving an award for reducing congestion on the city roads.

I could rant on and on, but you get the idea. Somebody please strengthen English language education in schools of native English speakers!

Click here to read the lyrics of the song

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Staying Alive

Every night, almost without fail, I go out for a walk by the river, sometime between midnight and 3am.

Normally I walk down to the Albert Bridge, passing the Chelsea Bridge on the way. Occasionally I walk in the opposite direction, and walking the same distance takes me to Westminster. I prefer my regular route, though, as it is more peaceful.

The weekends are usually slightly different from the weekdays. For one, the decorative lights on the bridges become somewhat unpredictable. But more importantly, and amusingly, on weekends there is a good chance that I would run into a drunken lad who's been "walking in the wrong direction for 2 hours". Of course, I am usually the only person they see at the ungodly hour, and of course they have to ask me for directions and then walk with me till the Vauxhall Bridge (from where I turn left) to feel a little safer.

Yesterday, however, was one peculiar experience, though not a weekend. On my way back from the Albert Bridge, I stopped and sat down on a column of the embankment. I sat there engrossed deep in thought, or completely devoid of all thought, I can't be sure, for who knows how long before these three people approached me.

"Theek ho? (Are you okay?)", asked this Punjabi bloke.

"Haan (Yes)", I woke up from my stupor.

"You are thinking to die in the water?"

"What? This is the most absurd thing I've heard in a long time," I thought, but presently said only, "No, no."

Even as I was finishing my really short sentence, the Englishman asked, "Waitin' four yo gérlfrnd? Had a faaeet with yo gérlfrnd?"

"Oh, you arre such a good looking laad, you know thaaa?" chimed in the Welsh girl, "Here, take my hand, come down."

I followed that instruction since, almost on cue, it suddenly started to rain, and I had no intention of getting soaked in the chilly weather. I politely explained to my well-wishers that I just liked sitting there and relaxing.

While at the time I found the whole episode absurdly hilarious, as I walked home, it set me thinking, and I started to appreciate what the trio did.

I still don't know whether it was my "deep in thought" expression or my blank expression, or simply my sitting on the embankment that drew them to ask me those questions, but the point is that anyone of us could run into a situation where we might think that a stranger might be about to commit suicide or otherwise harm themselves, or otherwise are upset.

There are two types of errors one could make in such a situation: Error I - One does nothing (the typical Londoner's response) and the assessment turns out to be right, or Error II - One intervenes and the assessment turns out as being wrong.

The cost of Error II is invading someone's privacy for no apparent rhyme or reason, and risking being ridiculed. The cost of Error I could be as high as someone dying. While on the surface, the cost of Error II is personally slighter, I can not even begin to imagine how one could live on, dragging the weight of, "If I had just talked to that person for a bit, he might still be alive."

When one considers that London's multi-cultural society is comprised, to a large extent, of immigrants (international AND national), many of whom are away from friends & family and may not have well-developed social networks or safety nets, it becomes easier to understand how powerful a small idle chat, a kind word or a small act of kindness or thoughtfulness could be.

So the next time I suspect someone might be contemplating suicide, I WILL intervene, at the risk of personal ridicule. Of course, I'll try to be slightly more tactful than my three "rescuers".

Friday, September 28, 2007

Amitabh Bachchan

As I am walking down the street, a young hawker selling "The Big Issue", shouts at me, "Hey, Amitabh Bachchan"

I find that amusing, and break into a grin. For while this kid just saw an Indian and yelled a famous Indian name, little does he know that I share my birthday with the moviestar under question.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

It Was Murder, It Was Slaughter

The day in Upper Slaughter starts off with a long meeting in which halfwits debate matters of little or no consequence. This goes on all day, and being a member of the team, I have to endure this torture. Thankfully, during the breaks I can walk out into the little vegetable garden in the backyard of the hotel.

Once the business of the day is wrapped up, I go down to the front lawn where my colleagues are planning to play a peculiarly English game. Thus, I learn the game of croquet, and that I suck at it. Well, to be fair, I sucked at it when I was holding the mallet like a cricket bat, and get way better when I hold it the right way. By then, however, the game, as they say, is over.

Croquet is essentially a turn-based game in which one has to take a solid plastic ball around a court and through specific "gates", hitting with a wooden mallet. The objective is to do it before the others, so one of the things one does along the way is hit others' ball away from their targets. Fun stuff! I'm sure I'll have good fun the next time I play.

After the short game, we set out for a walk through the country. The little hamlet is absolutely, serenely beautiful. The landscape is bottle green, nay, greener still. A small stream runs through the front of the hotel, and there are fish swimming and ducks floating. Not a bad place, Upper Slaughter.

Mainly Monday

While I had managed to sleep soon after 1.30am, I am unable to get up at 4.30am as planned, and it is 5 by the time my eyes open. I was supposed to have left town by now. With a bit of rushing about, I finally check out of the hotel at 5.15am.

I would have imagined a sunrise around now, but it is pitch dark; autumn is here. Back on the highway, there are a reasonable number of cars rushing to Bucureşti. Of course, the highway is dominated by lorries and trucks in terms of percentage of vehicles on road.

As I cruise down the highway, I find my sweet spot behind a pick-up truck doing 125 kmph or so. As luck would have it, the "I" has dropped off from the large printed make name, and all I see written in front of me is "Daca" (the truck is evidently a Dacia, a popular Romanian brand). If there's a God, (S)He sure loves irony (Daca means "If" in Romanian).

The sky starts turning dark grey around 6.05am, though I know sunrise is still a while away. The air is cold and the headlights of the oncoming traffic are distracting, sometimes blinding. The only comfort is the crackling voice, on the radio, of Richard Marx crooning, "Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you".

I reach the airport around 7.20, shortly after dawnbreak - it took me more time to navigate the streets of Bucureşti than to traverse the distance between the two cities!

I have to wait a while before the check-in opens, but at least I have the satisfaction of being first in line for the counter that still reads "Milan". Meanwhile, my cellphone battery dies, and I can't spot any electric sockets around. But that's alright, I am not expecting any calls.

When the counter opens, a smartly dressed ground staffer checks my details and assigns me a window seat, not on the wing, as requested. And then, the printer refuses to print my boarding pass. The poor staffer struggles with the printer, and after 15 mts of what can only be described as bloody war, he is finally able to get me my boarding pass.

All I have to do now, is go through the security screen. As I am collecting my belt, wallet, jacket etc., a security guard comes up with my backpack and asks, "Is this yours?"

"Yes"

"Open it please"

I ask her what she's looking for, and she tells me: "Two bottles". I know right away that she's talking about the two jars of zacuscă that a friend gave me last night. I take them out, and she tells me, "You can't take that. Creams not allowed."

"This is not cream", I reason, "this is food." By now, a small contingent of security people has congregated around me. A helpful guard points me to the words, "..or objects of similar consistency" on the poster listing the items not permitted past the security screen.

A stout and scruffy man, who is quite evidently the supervisor, trudges over. After a quick word in Romanian with the guards, he shakes his head and tells me solemnly, "You can either throw this away, or check it in."

Of course, I know he is right. "I'll check it in," I say gruffly.

There is no way I am leaving the zacuscă behind. Nor am I checking in my laptop and the glass jars for Heathrow. I pick up my wallet and keys and put them in my pockets very slowly. I take my own sweet time getting the belt and jacket on. Then I pick up my backpack, and studiously walk right to Gate number 9.

Rules are not for Indians. Not in Romania.

Gate number 9 is currently boarding for Milan. I take a seat, and try playing with my laptop. After the flight has been boarded, the gate display changes to say that Athens, scheduled for 10.05, is checking in. This makes me nervous - may be they've changed the gate for the London flight. I want to check, but there are no staffers at the gate. So I walk to the other gates - 7, 8, 10, 11, and 12 asking each if they know anything about a gate change. They don't, and advise me to wait.

After what seems like an interminable length of time, I ask the lady to my left for time, and it is already past the boarding time. So both of us jump up, and start asking the staffers at the other gates again. They still have no clue, and again advise us to wait. I am in no mind to follow that piece of advice, and tell my fellow passenger that I will go and check upstairs (Yes, there are gates right over one another - ground floor gates open outside for boarding via stairs while the first floor gates are used to board via jetways/ aerobridges).

Sure enough, the gate for London has been changed to 5, and sure enough, the flight is late by a half hour. By the time we board, however, it is clear that takeoff will be delayed by over a quarter and one hour.

As I sit down in my seat, I suddenly feel very tired. It is as though I have walked a thousand miles. I have no idea what the girl in the aisle seat is saying to me, and my eyes are droopy; but before drifting off, I do manage to tell her to hide her phone as the host who told her to switch it off is coming back towards us.

I am woken up by the host who has brought me the special "raw vegetarian" meal. My neighbor, it turns out, is returning to London after 4 months to give it another chance. She spent about 8 months there the first time around, but couldn't stand being away from family and friends. Originally from a small town close to the Moldova border, she has been living in Bucureşti, working for a car rental company. The owner of the company, she says, is smart: He doesn't ask for hundreds of Euros worth of deposit for rental cars, and instead charges a fee of €20 which goes directly to profits. Smart indeed, I agree.

She tells me about what she used to do in London (site manager for a construction company), where she used to live, how her boyfriend totalled the car they loved and didn't have insurance for, and how she was supposed to fly the day before yesterday but couldn't. She also tells me about a few good Romanian restaurants in London, though unfortunately, I have forgotten the names :-(

This is the fourth time she is going back to her boyfriend. "I used to be a happy person," she tells me. In spite of everything, I have to struggle hard to suppress a smile. I am sure (S)He must be laughing somewhere.

We land in Heathrow about a half hour late. Thankfully, since my seat is close to the aircraft's exit, I am among the first people to get off. I overtake the rest of the people en route to the border controls, and manage to be the first person in the "Non EU passports" queue. Border controls and customs are a breeze, and I am able to run into the Picadilly Line tube about to depart.

It is already after 1pm by the time I reach home. I need to unpack, repack, shower, shave, and dress in formals quickly, and get to Upper Slaughter for a company event. While I would have liked to go to office for a little while before that, there's no time now.

As I run to the tube station, I manage to grab some Chinese take-away food, and get to the Paddington station at what I consider to be a reasonable time considering that I need to reach the hamlet called Upper Slaughter only around 4pm. At the self-service ticket kiosk, I don't see Upper Slaughter in the list of stations connected to Paddington by train, so I go in to the counter and ask for help. The cheerful and polite African lady tries to help, but can not figure out how I could get to Upper Slaughter.

Time to open my magic laptop. Apparently, the closest station to Upper Slaughter is Kingham, from where it is a 15 mts taxi ride to the hotel. Excellent! I buy a return ticket from the kiosk, and look at the departure boards. Hmmm...no trains listed as calling at Kingham.

A quick trip to the information desk reveals that I just missed a train, the next one is due for 3.51pm (I'm definitely not getting there by 4pm as planned) and the platform would be announced 5 mts or so before then.

The 3.51pm train is just a couple of minutes late - in India, we wouldn't even call it late - in arriving at Paddington, but drops me off at Kingham shortly after 5.15pm as per schedule. As I walk out, I see a little bus, and the driver is looking straight at me. Perhaps, he is waiting for me. But I don't recognize the town name on it. So I wave him off, and set out to find myself a taxi.

There is a car park double the size of the station itself, but I can not see any taxis. Heck, there is not a living soul in sight anymore. I check all the signs and posters to scout for information. Nothing! Of course, the office is closed as it is after 5pm.

So I walk towards the road on which the occasional vehicle seems to zoom by. No taxis. I try tumbing a ride, but no one seems keen to stop, which is understandable considering that most of the drivers seem to be little old ladies. In any case, even if they did stop, I haven't a clue as to which direction I need to go.

I walk up to the building about 200m and knock on the door. The gentleman answering the door is kind enough to tell me that there are no cabs within town, and that the closest place to get a cab would be Chipping Norton. He also tells me that there are taxi service numbers posted back at the station.

Getting back to the station, I am finally able to locate the numbers, and call from the public phone booth at the station. I try all the services I can till my coins run out, but none of the taxi services is willing to send anyone this far away.

Thus I wait for the bus, and board it when it arrives. It is going to Bledington but is the only bus that plies by Kingham, and on its return journey, it will indeed go to Chipping Norton. I am fine with that, and welcome the opportunity to sit in the bus as opposed to freezing outside. The driver recognizes me from his previous trip, and asks me where I need to go.

"Upper Slaughter"

"Upper Whaa?"

"Slaughter"

"Huh?"

"Sloter"

"Sorry, whaa?"

"Slowwter. S.L.A.U.G.H.T.E.R."

"Oh, Slowthaa!"

"Yeah, I guess I should be able to get a taxi from Chipping"

Finally we reach the last stop in Chipping Norton, but there are still no taxis in sight. The jovial and perky driver, however, tells me not to worry.

He leaves me at the Fox Hotel's bar after speaking to the landlady. The nice landlady phones a cabbie, and he promises to get down in about 20 minutes. So I sit there sipping some Orange-Passionfruit J2O, reading The Guardian, and waiting for the cab, which arrives promptly in about 30 minutes.

As it turns out, Upper Slaughter is just about 20 minutes away from Chipping Norton. On the way to the hotel, the driver tells me that India has won the 20-20 cricket world cup final against Pakistan. Finally...something to celebrate.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Monasterie de Curtea de Argeş

Decided to go to the monastery in Curtea de Argeş on Sunday afternoon. Since curtea means "court", I am guessing that in older times, this place must have been the capital or seat of government for the region. While hypothetically the word could also have been used in the same sense that my hometown is in the "courtyard of the Ganges" or in the "backyard of the Himalayas", I think the probability of that is low simply because the Argeş does not flow through the hamlet (Argeş is the name of both the river and the region).

Driving down there from Piteşti is interesting as the landscape gets increasingly magnificent. While it does not exactly become breathtaking by the time one reaches Curtea de Argeş, it does stoke one's imagination, and seduces one to go on further. Alas, on this occasion that does not seem to be a possibility.

As I drive closer to the monastery, it surprises me that even in this little hamlet, the main road is one-way. Thankfully the monastery's parking is large enough to hold a few cars.

The monastery itself is a remarkable piece of work. The living quarters are made of brick, with crawlers covering the walls in beautiful autumn colors. Inside the church, there are make-shift counters selling talismans, trinkets, and assorted material for various rituals.

All around me are murals of Romanian "saints", ALL of whom are battle-armored and heavily armed. It is not too far-fetched a guess, I suppose, that they were all leaders of various factions in the crusades.

Interestingly, in the main chamber, two large frescoes dominate the ceiling: naştere (birth) on the left and cină (supper) on the right. It is especially noteworthy as immediately outside the building, there are two little structures for lighting candles: left one to pray for the alive and the right one for the dead.

Cină (the last supper) is curious in another way too. While 10 apostles are at a distance from Christ, just like in the DaVinci painting, two are physically not just close to Him, but almost embrace Him. More importantly, these two are almost certainly women.

I walk out, light the candles praying for the alive and for the dead, and proceed to the main cathedral, where some repair works seem to be underway.

En route to the cathedral, I am introduced to the legend behind it. It is said that the workers building the monastery were struggling with a peculiar problem: they'd build the walls by the day, and by night these would come down, and they'd start again the next day with the same result. Then one day the chief architect Meşterul Manole had a dream. He was instructed to follow the ancient custom of placing a living woman into the foundations. In fact, he was to bury the first woman to turn up at the site in the morning. As luck would have it, the first one to turn up that morning was his wife Ana. To this day one can see a sign stamped on the outside of the cathedral wall where Ana is supposedly buried. Some heartwarming tale this!

The architecture of the cathedral bears significant influence of Turish architecture. So much so, that it look more like an ornate mausoleum than a cathedral. This influence comes as no surprise considering that its consecration on 15 August 1517 (on the Assumption of the Virgin) was done in the presence of outstanding Orthodox luminaries, led by the Patriarch Theolipt of Constantinople.

The inside of the cathedral is elegant and foarte frumos. It's a pity that the inside chamber is closed to visitors.

At the gate, a gent says, "Namaste". He wants me to click a picture of him, his wife and toddler together at the gate. Though the girls are in a hurry, and even a bit annoyed, I oblige willingly. Couldn't have said no to that request. Not after he said "Namaste" to me.

Not too far from the cathedral is a small spring of cool water called Manole's fountin. I suspect (imagine?) that there is some legend behind it too, though I am not regaled with any such tales.

The monastery tour complete, it is time to grab a bite. The eatery is at some distance, a short-walk past charming houses sporting wooden columns and trees laden with little purple apples.

At the restaurant, a furry, cute kitten has drawn the fancy of the girls, who are doting over it. It walks over to me and I stroke its head gently.

The plump but agile landlady (or is she merely a waitress?) with a gentle face is merry and good-natured. She seems happy to see someone visiting from a different part of the world, and even happier that I am able to pronounce the menu items almost correctly.

She tells me that I can take away the cat as a gift, if I like. I think to myself, "I would like to, though not the one you refer to."

The coated pressed cheese (caşcaval) and grilled mushrooms (ciupercă grătar?) are out of this world. Still apă (water) is called flat, while sparkling is referred to as mineral. Surprisingly, the beer is German, not Romanian.

On the way back, I drive as slowly as I dare to, wanting to make the day last a little longer. But of course, Piteşti appears much sooner than I was hoping.

I decide that my pit stop for the night is to be Hotel Metropole (derived from Metropolitanate, I guess). Inevitably, there is a wedding across the street, and the loud merry music fills the ears of the night.

Before retiring, I end up at a bar for a nightcap. I notice that it is an unusual bar, with the seating area divided into separate chambers each with its own television. I spend some time chatting with a technocrat and mathematics teacher, leaving him with a tech/maths riddle. Tomorrow I'll be far away from this town.

Click here to check out my pictures from Curtea de Argeş of 23 Sept 2007.

Far, Near: Prose In Verse

I wander in a foreign land
That's what a wanderer does
I don't decide where I go
Feet take me where they must

'Tis where they bring me now
My eyes n' ears too conspired
For to hear her voice and
see her smile they desired

A dark night of a long day
I search for her in the alley
She's standing in the stairs,
I see then, front of a galley

She turns arounds, spots me
Her face glows with a smile
I want to stop in my tracks,
Watch that look for a while

And I thought not it possible
But this cool eve of September
Standing there she's no doubt
More beautiful than I remember

So I just walk down to her
She steps forward, it's fate
Embraces me with a "Hello" and
I wish time would stop and wait

As we go inside the place
She asks me, "How are you?"
How am I? "No complaints"
And believe it, that's true

But I just leave it at that
Don't finish my words through
"No complaints of my life
One that led me to meet you"

Tho' I listen to her friends
And I laugh at their jokes
Small talk isn't of interest
No sentiment it provokes

If you don't say the one thing
You want so much it does you maul
Where is the merit in saying
anything but anything at all?

And all I really want to do
is reach over, grab n kiss her
And to hold her in my arms
and to stay that way for ever

But I avoid all tactility
My heart's stubborn child is gruff
Wants "all or nothing" & knows
Her slightest touch'd make it tough

Her touch, her glance, her smile
It'd make me weak n' do me hew
I might just be lost forever
without a chance of rescue

To be lost or torn apart
I don't know what's worse
It maybe dull, prosaic to you
But to me it's all inverse

When we were a long way afar
I spent every second with her
Musings of her loomed by day
by night her dreams occured

And now that I sit alongside
there's a yawning gap between
I sit tight deadpan or else
I know which way I'd careen

Night gets late, gathering over
We're split up, bidding goodnight
She wakes me later, her face
so close to mine, smile so bright

My lips caress her face, quivering
My head rests on hers, eyes close
My face aches, but I let escape
words nor kisses, mighty flows

Is not a fire in sight
Does something burn inside?
Can't see the flames, for sure
But smoke gets in my eyes

But then she kisses my eyes,
my lips n face, holds my hand
She kisses my face some more
Kisses that say, "I understand"

My face is soaked with kisses
Like torrential showers they rain
As a cool stream through desert
They wash away all the pain

When my eyes open, she's gone
And I am all alone in my bed
Sitting still and pondering
Every thing that was unsaid

Well, 'twas a dream perhaps
It must have been a dream
Because my face still aches
And there's no cool stream

There's not a fire in sight
Does something burn inside?
Can't see the flames, I know
Yet smoke gets in my eyes

I hear that some times
some dreams do come true
I wonder what wishes are
the ones that bear fruit

You might think I'm daft,
weird, pathetic or insane
Truth be told, I'd agree but
what to do with the pain?

Don't make fun, don't cry for me
And certainly hold the requiem
My destiny's far, I know, but what
keeps me alive is chasing the dream