The Kick's Too Wide on This One

One way to look at Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal would be to see it as the latest in the spate of sports movies that Bollywood's been churning out lately (Apne, Chak De India...). Another way would be to look at it as the latest "crossover" movie from a "young and fresh" director.

Of course, neither view would be accurate. For one, it is not a crossover film; it is instead a film targeted squarely at the desi population residing in the British Isles. It is based in the UK and deals with issues of desis based here. And it latches on to a sport that appeals to that section of the Indian diaspora.

Inherent in this choice of sport is also the difference from the other "sports movies": While Apne (boxing) and Chak De India (hockey) selected sports that are not necessarily the most popular among the masses, and deal with issues of sportspeople in these domains, Goal selects the sport (football) most popular among its target audience, and tries to ride on the formulae popularized by the numerous Hollywood movies on the subject.

The "Kabul Express" duo of Arshad Warsi and John Abraham is back in Goal. And like Kabul Express' Kabir Khan, Goal's director Vivek Agnihotri has smartly avoided putting any acting demands on John Abraham. There are only a couple of scenes where Abraham is expected to demonstrate some histrionic capabilities and, as expected, he delivers a big zero in that department.

Arshad Warsi, on the other hand, shows great maturity and versatility in a role that is relatively far removed from his core competence of comedy. Boman Irani is as dependable as ever in another addition to his repertoire of vastly diverse roles. Other supporting actors' performances are acceptable, except for that of Bipasha Basu, who hasn't grown at all professionally even after all these years in the trade.

And let's face it: just Boman Irani and Arshad Warsi can not power a film through, especially when the direction is as bad as in Goal. But to place the blame where it is due, the story and the screenplay are surely at fault here. Too bad for the director that he also shares credits for screenplay.

To be fair, the story concept is fine. It is conceivable that a dark horse would put all on the line, and come up from behind; that's what makes the sport so exciting. That the team members will rediscover themselves and re-evaluate their relationships is also a valid thread to follow. In fact, that is pretty much the story concept of every other American football movie.

The devil, however, is in the details. To begin with, the characters are not very well defined, though acceptable by Bollywood standards. What are not acceptable are the several incomprehensible turns of events. Several important events and turning points have been left unexplained or with loose threads.

Then, the way the whole premise of racism and discrimination is depicted seems to be very pre-1950s. This is not to say that there is no racism in Britain. Such a sweeping statement would most likely be untrue. But any racism that might be present is unlikely to be so rampant and blatant as several events are designed to convey.

Some parts are completely irrational and leave one completely incredulous. And of course, the "big surprises" don't surprise anyone.

All said and done, the direction is jerky and overly dramatic. And the uneven editing doesn't help.

Goal does have its moments, but they are more flashes in the pan than the silver lining behind the dark cloud. The scene depicting the crushing of the pride of the up-and-comer star Sunny Bhasin by the had-been, and now coach of a ragtag bunch, Tony Singh was a good thought, for instance. But it seems long drawn and boring because it quickly gets repetitive.

That said, there were a few moments that made me groan and the rest of the theater clap, whistle and cheer. Perhaps the director understands the psyche of the British Desi better than I do.

My verdict: Overall, a film best avoided.

Back to Base

This week I was out of town. My firm was facilitating culture-change workshops at hotels in Croydon and Gatwick for a large corporation. It was strange being away this week as both places were within easily commutable distances from my home. But my colleagues wanted to enjoy the hospitality of the hotels at the company's expense, and I didn't want to rock the boat, especially since I don't plan to work for this company for much longer.

One of my colleagues christened Croydon as "the hellhole of England". The Sesldon Park Hotel is quite good, though. It is comfortable, and has a well-landscaped golf course. It would appear, however, that the English haven't quite caught up to the American concept of business hotels. For while Selsdon Park is a four star place, it lacks some basic things one would expect: a radio alarm-clock (or any kind of alarm clock, for that matter) in the room, for instance. Or a vending machine where one could pick up a bottle of water or a snack at 1 am. My cribbing notwithstanding, the place does lend itself to leisurely walks in lush surroundings.

The Wednesday and Friday workshops were at the Gatwick Hilton, which is not bad at all for a transit hotel. However, I found the Felbridge Hotel, where we had the Thursday event, to be a much better venue for corporate workshops. It's quieter, plusher, classier, more comfortable, and frankly has better conference halls.

Click here to check out my pictures from Croydon of 6 Nov 2007.

On Friday evening, after having a look at the train schedule boards, I buy a Gatwick Express ticket with the intention of breaking my journey at Redhill to celebrate Diwali at a friend's place. Unfortunately, it would seem that I read the boards wrong for the Gatwick Express does not call anywhere between Gatwick and Victoria. So essentially I reach Victoria and take a Southern train back to get to Redhill.

Even so, I reach my friend's place before she was expecting me. Turns out she decided to "work from home" and slept through most of the afternoon, meaning that she hasn't had the time to make the laddoos. Argh!

While her husband had planned to get home early, the day is hardly going as per plan and he is stuck at work. So while we wait for him to get home, we chat as she irons the laundry. But it takes so long that I end up calling a couple of friends in New Delhi and doing a bit of shopping at the Sainsbury's around the corner before he finally arrives.

There is a quick ritualistic worship of Lakshmi and Ganesh. I help the duo make some laddoos, and then it's time for fireworks. We go down and meet some of their colleagues and friends, and together light up the fireworks. Consuming the whole stock takes close to 2 hrs, much to the charging of the British neighbors, I am sure.

The pyrotechnic material exhausted, we suddenly remember that we are hungry and rush back home. While some of us part ways, about 12 of us go up to my friend's place where we are served daal-stuffed paranthas, matar paneer, mirch ka achar and Bollywood music. I gobble it all down with ferocity and get out of the door just as the clock strikes 0020, leaving the others behind to booze, gambling and stale jokes.

While the National Rail website lists two trains to Victoria between 0030 and 0100 hrs, it turns out that due to maintenance work, there are no more trains departing from Redhill tonight. Instead of going back to my friend's place, I take a taxi home. The cab ride ends up costing me a cool £52. Heck, for that amount of money, I could have taken a return EasyJet flight to Basel or Marseilles. Oh, well!

Click here to check out my Diwali pictures (9 Nov 2007).

The Story of Diwali - The Legend of Rama

Happy Deepavali
The festival of lights

Today is दीपावली (Deepavali/ RO - Diipavălii/ IPA - di:pɑ:vəli:), commonly and correctly known to the West as the Hindu festival of lighs. In fact, the word Deepavali itself is a compound word formed by the combination of two Sanskrit (or Hindi tatsam) words: दीप (Deep/ RO - Diip/ IPA - di:p/ Meaning - lamp), and आवली (Avali/ RO - Avălii/ IPA - ɑ:vəli:/ Meaning - Line), and literally translates into „A Line of Lamps”.

Over the past few decades, the dimunitive दीवाली (Diwali/ RO - Diivalii/ IPA - di:vɑ:li:) has become the more common word used to refer to the festival within India. In Nepal, it is more commonly known as Tihar (Meaning - festival) and Swanti. In addition to the Hindus, the festival is also celebrated by Sikhs, Jains and Nepalese Buddhists.

Legend goes that the origin of the festival lies in रामायण (Ramayana/ RO - Ramaiăn/ IPA - ɹɑ:mɑ:jʌn), one of the two major epics (the other one being महाभारत/ Mahabharata/ RO - Măhabharăt/ IPA - Mʌhɑ:bhɑ:ɹʌθ) of the Hindus. Ramayana is the story of मर्यादापुरुशोत्तम (Maryadapurushottam/ RO - Măriadapurușottăm/ IPA - Mʌɹjɑ:ðɑ:pʊɹʊʃɒθʌm/ Meaning - the most honorable of men) Lord राम (Rama/ RO - Ram/ IPA - ɹɑ:m), the crown prince of the prosperous northern Indian region of अयोध्या (Ayodhya/ RO - Ăeodhia/ IPA - ʌjɒðjɑ:), who decided to go on a self-imposed exile from communal life for 14 years to fulfil a promise his father, the dead king दशरथ (Dashrath/ RO - Dașrăth/ IPA - Dʌʃrʌθ) made to Rama's stepmother. Wife princess सीता (Sita/ RO - Siita/ IPA - Si:tɑ:) and loyal half-brother लक्ष्मण (Lakshman/ RO - Lăcșmăn/ IPA - Lʌkʃmʌn) followed Rama into the forest while half-brother भरत (Bharat/ RO - Bhărăt/ IPA - Bhʌrʌθ) stayed back to take care of the kingdom as Rama's leige.

After several adventurous years in the forest, the trio of Rama, Lakshman and Sita is broken up when Lanka's king रावण (Ravana/ RO - Ravăn/ IPA - Rɑ:vʌn) abducts Sita. Rama and Lakshman organize an army of monkeys and bears and launch an offensive on the mighty kingdom of Lanka. After an epic battle, Ravana is defeated and killed, and princess Sita reunited with her husband (the day is celebrated as Dashahara). Fortuitously, this happens just 20 days before the end of the 14 years of exile. Thus, after enjoying a few days of Lankan hospitality, the princes and the princess fly back to Ayodhya in an aeroplane lent to them by विभीषण (Vibhishana/ RO - Vibhișăn/ IPA - Vɪbhi:ʃʌn), Ravana's brother and the new king of Lanka .

When the three reach Ayodhya, the citizen welcome them and celebrate by lighting thousands of lamps to brigthen the moonless night. Deepavali, according to the legend, is the yearly commemoration of the return of the virtuous, victorious and beloved king of Ayodhya.

There is also another reason for celebrating Deepavali; one that is more practical or sociological. Deepavali is the "other" new year for the Hindus. While Holi, in spring, heralds the beginning of the year for the agricultural community, celebrating the harvest of the winter crop (rabi) harvest, Deepavali, in autumn, marks the transition from one financial year to another for the traders. Of course, the summer crop (kharif) harvest is also celebrated.

Communities within India celebrate the festival differently. For instance, in Bengal, the festival is more commonly known as Kaali Pooja, and is marked by worship of Goddess Kaali.

In most of India, though, the celebration starts in the evening with a ceremonial worship of the Goddess Lakshmi (the giver of prosperity) and Lord Ganesh (the giver of wisdom). Thereafter, diyas (earthern lamps filled with oil or ghee) are lit around the house. In recent times, candles and Christmas-light-style electric-lights have extensively supplemented, and even largely replaced, the diyas.

It's all fun and frolic after that. People, who can afford it, don new clothes and take presents and sweets to the homes of friends and neighbors. For many, especially children, the whole festival of Diwali is signified by one word: fireworks. It would be tough to find a Hindu who has never enjoyed lighting a sparkler, cracker, "bomb", "rocket", anar, or chakri on Diwali.

Of course, because of all these independent (meaning every home has its own) firework displays, Deepavali is the busiest day of the year for the fire brigades. The police is also on high alert because of high rates of alcoholism and gambling on this day, owing to the superstition that financial gains made on this day bode well for the rest of the year.

Another interesting fact is that Deepavali is always on a no-moon night. No-moon night is of special significant for those that follow the magical and the occult, and Deepavali is said to be the day when the magical and the spiritual powers are at their strongest. Thus, it is believed that there are countless occult rituals and ceremonies performed this night, though it is unverifiable considering that such ceremonies are performed in shrouds of secrecy.

Like many other Hindu festivals, Diwali is also spread over several days. In fact, the celebrations go on for 5 days, with the main festival flanked on both sides by subordinate ones. The first day is धन तेरस (Dhan Teras/ RO - Dhăn Terăs/ IPA - ðʌn θɛɹʌs). Dhan means wealth and Teras is diminutive or contracted form of त्रयोदशी (Trayodashi/ RO - Trăiodășii/ IPA - θɹʌjɒðʌʃi:) which means the 13th day, simply signifying that this is the 13th day of the second half of the month. It is considered auspicious to buy gold, silver and other metals on this day. Making other major purchases (e.g.- buying a car) is also considered good. This practice is perhaps a misunderstanding of the name of the day itself: The day is thought to be the day when धन्वन्तरी (Dhanvantari/ RO - Dhănvăntării/ IPA - ðʌnvʌntʌɹi:), the master of healing and the idol of doctors, appeared in the great churning of the Ksheer Sagar - while the day takes its name from Dhanvantari, it is possible that over time the commonfolk took it to mean wealth.

Day two is नरक चतुर्दशी (Narak Chaturdashi/ RO - Nărăc Chaturdășii/ IPA - Nʌɹʌk tʃʌθʊɹðʌʃi:). Narak is a deformation of the word नर्क (Narq/ Ro - Nărc/ IPA - Nʌɹk) which means hell, and Chaturdashi means the 14th day. It is said that Lord कृष्ण (Krisna/ RO - Crrșn/ IPA - Kɹʃn) killed नरकासुर (Narkasura/ RO - Nărcasur/ IPA - Nʌɹkɑ:sʊɹ/ Literally - the demon from hell) on this day. It is believed that taking a bath before sunrise, when the stars are still visible in the sky is equivalent to bathing in the holy Ganges. Many people go around the house, creating on the floor colorful patterns called rangolis using powders usually found in the kitchen - earlier it used to be different flours and ground spices, but nowadays edible colors are often used.

The third and the most important day is known as Lakshmi Pooja or Deepavali. The fourth day is गोवर्धन पूजा (Govardhan Pooja/ RO - Govărdhăn Puja/ IPA - Gɔ:vʌɹðʌn Pu:dʒɑ:) which symbolizes Lord Krishna's advice that humans should harmonize with nature. It is also known as annkoot signifying that thrashing of the newly harvested crop begins on this day. Additionally, as per the Vikram calendar, this is the first day of the new year.

The last day of the festivities is भाई दूज (Bhai Dooj/ RO - Bhai Duj/ IPA - Bhaɪ θu:dʒ) with Bhai standing for Brother and Dooj meaning the 2nd day. On this day, brothers and sisters meet to express their love and affection for each other.

In conclusion, I leave you with these words from the बृहदरण्यक उपनिषद (Brhadaranyak Upanishad, RO - Brhădarăniăc Upănișăd/ IPA - Bɹʌhʌðʌɹʌnjʌk ʊpʌnɪʃʌð), which sum up the message of this festival:

असदो मा सदगमय
तमसो मा ज्योतिर्गमय
मृत्योर्मा अमृतमगमय
ॐ शान्ति शान्ति शान्ति

RO transliteration:
Ăsădo ma sădgămăyă
Tămăso ma giotirgămăyă
Mrîtyor ma ămrătămgămăyă
Oum șanti șanti șantii

EN translation:
(O Lord, lead us)
From illusion towards the truth.
From darkness towards the light.
From mortality towards eternity.
Oum (the seminal sound) peace, peace, peace (May peace be unto the earth).

Visa Blues