Saturday, December 29, 2007

Neelkanth - the azure throated

I need no well nor star, for
I've met my draught's rain
Life is not so short that
I won't get to see her again

Her thoughts make me smile
When I talk to her, I soar
World's not as it used to be
Things've changed for sure

And where they are worse
they belong on my score
She's just the way she was
But I'm not myself anymore

Like Icarus I soared high
The warnings I did not heed
And now I wish what I wish
would be the same as she'd

Just like you, O Neelkanth,
I've drunk from life's moat
the most potent of venoms
and I hold it in my throat

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Another one bites the dust

Ghayal (Wounded) released in 1990 is undoubtedly one of the best action movies to have ever come out of Bollywood. Raj Kumar Santoshi's directorial debut was also arguably his biggest commercial success and delivered a national award for actor Sunny Deol.

Santoshi and Deol have always been very candid about the fact that the film drew some inspiration from Stallone's First Blood. If fact, they have been reported to admit that when Santoshi took the script to Sunny Deol, he said he'd focus on how to make it different from the said Stallone movie. That said, I have to admit that the end product is very different from the inspiration.

What has been less widely reported is blatant plagiarism in the music department. The happy-go-lucky family song Sochna Kya Jo Bhi Hoga Dekha Jayega (Don't worry about tomorrow, We'll meet it when it comes) is clearly a lift-off from the French group Kaoma's 1989 megahit Lambada, which spawned the Lambada dancing craze of the 90s.

Things like this can shake up your entire belief system. You see, in my earlier, "ignorance is bliss" days, I would have classified "Sochna Kya" as a typical "Indian sound". Oh, well! You live, you learn.

If you, like me, have been living under a rock for all these years, you can listen to Lambada right here:

3 mts 22 secs


Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Night and Day

When the evening sun sinks
into a river of liquid gold
When sky dons a dark robe
with starry jewellery bold

When Venus looks down at me
and gives me a knowing smile
From that moment till dawn
when sun's reborn on the isle

I think of you, long for you
till sleep exacts its regime
Then I sleep knowing I will
see you again in my dream

I dream that I am the sunshine
that caresses your face fair
I dream I'm the wind that runs
its fingers through your hair

Sometimes I am your mirror
that gets to see you everyday
I am also the sweet fragrance
on your body that you spray

And I dream I am the watch
that forever holds your hand
The joke that makes you laugh
And your sojourn unplanned

I'm the rose you kiss, I am
everything you call your own
And whispering into your ear
why yes, I am your telephone

From the moment the sun rises
and birds of dawn start to crow
Till moon takes over the sky
and a defeated sun takes a bow

All the strands of my thoughts
begin with you, they end in you
You're in meads, you're in snow
And you're in the pearls of dew

You're in mountains, in forests
In rain and in clear blue skies
I find you are wherever I go
After all, you are in my eyes

You're the air I breathe to live,
And the blood flowing in my veins
I'm free to fly like pegasus but
are there any stronger chains?

Distances wouldn't keep us apart
were I the moon or wind, if only!
And my heart asks how is it that
you live in it, yet it's lonely

The mere thought of you smiling
purifies this world of guile
Yes, all my smiles are yours
Yes, I need your lips to smile

Friday, December 14, 2007

A Wonderful World

Tomorrow the sun will rise again
And again the rooster will crow
The birds will sing from trees
Much to admire, love n' explore

Flowers will smile brightly
with faces red, yellow, blue
Mountains will stand proudly
Clear rivers going through

A farmer will wake up early
He has a large field to plough
This harvest will pay his loan,
and as a free man he'll glow

And if it turns out that
Zeus strikes lightning arrows
He knows, after every rain
there will soon be a rainbow

Little Jenny bought ski boots
She's hoping that it'll snow
so that she won't have school
and ski down to the chateau

Workers will rush to their jobs
There'll be traffic on the road
Children will laugh, play, learn
Little Polly will kiss a toad

A scientist will start over as
luck yet again shows caprice
Earth itself will hold still as
an artist finishes a masterpiece

One man will fall in love
Higher than eagles he'll soar
Another will be heartbroken
and in grave pain to the core

One man will give up drinking
Another'll pick it with a sigh
A president will declare a war
And two lovers will bid goodbye

And when sky wears a necklace
of stars and people get home
Cows will return to the barns
Grass'll lie down on the loam

A poet will dip his pen into
his heart and bare his soul
A gypsy will sing of life-death
Others around him on the knoll

Families will gather round too
Together they'll eat and laugh
Ma will grin with satisfaction
Children will be a little chaff

Little Mary will refuse to eat
She'll say she hates broccoli
But as her father picks her up
On his lap, she'll eat slowly

Witches, dwarves and princes
will lull children to sleep
Their mothers will stop by
to watch their faces sweet

Couples'll argue 'bout things
too silly to really comprehend
Then in bed they'll make up,
say sorry, promise to make amends

It will be a wonderful world
tomorrow right outside my door
Just the same as it is today
Only I won't be in it anymore

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

My Conversations With God

As per my usual practice of walking by the Thames in the wee hours, today I was out there around 3 am. Upon reaching the Cadogan Pier by the Albert Bridge I stopped. This is the point from where I usually turn back to go home.

There had been a few things on my mind while walking down here, and I decided to seek inspiration from the Supreme Being. I said, within my mind, "God!" and looked up.

And, there it was: the sign. I kid you not, there was a large white cloud, clear against the night sky, in the shape of a hand giving the finger. Not the peculiar British two finger thing, but the American and almost universally communicable middle finger sign.

Now that, my friends, is a surefire conversation killer. Especially if one is trying to talk to one's creator.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Life Lessons from Television

When I got back from my late night/ early morning walk by the Thames, I inadvertently switched on the TV. And a running TV has to be watched. While surfing the channels, I stumbled onto BBC Three's "Can Fat Teens Hunt?", one of the numerous reality TV/ armchair-enthusiast's-self-improvement programs.

The fundamental concept of the program is that a bunch of morbidly obese teenagers are packed off to Borneo, where they live in the jungle with an Iban tribe for a month. This is purported to teach them healthy habits.

In this particular episode, the teens have been in the jungle for 10 or so days, and their food runs out. Naturally they need to go hunting/ gathering. For this they have the leadership and guidance of an Iban gentleman.

A few of the teens stay back to guard the camp while the remaining pack of 5-6 follows their Iban guide on a treck uphill into the forest.

Two of the brat pack fall short relatively quickly, one falling down from hypoglycemia, and the other from dehydration. The other three also give up at different stages of the quest, long before reaching the food source, and return to the base camp.

Only one kid Jimmy perseveres with his Iban guide, and returns home with food for the gang.

And then comes the kicker. Instead of receiving a hero's welcome that all those Hollywood movies tell us he should receive, Jimmy returns to a very hostile bunch of fellow teens. He is accused variously of being selfish, arrogant and "not a team player".

This pretty much grabbed me by my throad and shook me. I still struggle to make sense of what happened there. To tell the truth, it even brough back memories of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged. I guess that such events are either a reminder that one should stop trying to make sense of the world around oneself, or use a bigger hammer.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Quotation of the Day

"Life is killing me."
- yours truly The Maverick

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Confoederatio Helvetica

It's off to Switzerland for the weekend. The flight's at 1740, and hoping to find a train cheaper than the Stansted Express, I ride the underground all the way to Tottenham Hale, instead of getting out at Liverpool Street. At Tottenham Hale it emerges that there are no cheap train tickets to Stansted. Oh, well! Stansted Express it is then.

I had checked in online, so it's straight to the security check, which is a breeze. My boarding group is A so hopefully I'll be able to choose a decent seat in the plane which, incidentally, is 15 minutes late.

As I go through the gate showing my passport and boarding card, the attendant stops me as she wants my documents checked. She phones some mysterious colleague to come down and have a look.

"I have a passenger here, who has a Pakistani passport..."

"Indian," I roar.

"I'm sorry, an Indian passport, and has a Schengen visa. Could you come down to check the visa."

"I'm going to Switzerland, and I don't need a visa for that because I live here," I correct her again.

"Are you a UK citizen or resident?"

"No, but I have entry clearance here"

"So, do you have a Swiss visa?"

"Grrr...," I think but presently try to reason with her, "Listen, it shouldn't matter to you. If I am going to France or Germany, I have a valid Schengen visa, and if I am going to Switzerland, I don't need a visa since I have a valid UK entry clearance."

Of course, I could as well have been talking to a wall. The boarding queue keeps moving and she intermittently keeps trying to reach her elusive colleague over the phone till everyone has boarded the plane and she has had to ask the ground staff and the cabin crew to wait for me.

Ultimately, no one turns up to check whether my visas are genuine, and after a lengthy phone call she just has to tell me that she's been told that, "It's okay"

"Sorry about that. We have to check the visas etc, you know? Especially when you are not checking in any luggage."

"Right! Well, at least I don't have to worry about finding myself a seat."

The plane lands in Basel a little late, thanks in part to my contribution, I suppose. I'm the first at the Swiss border police window, and the agent takes all of 30 seconds before waving me through. He doesn't even stamp an entry on my passport! Hmmm...

My friend is stuck at work and advises me to get to the Zurich Hauptbahnhof, from where I can get a train to Glattbrugg-Opfikon, where he lives and works. The Swiss side of the Basel-Mulhouse-Freiburg EuroAirport is pretty small, and I don't see any currency exchange services in the arrivals lounge. This is quite alright as there is at least one Die Post ATM and a coin vending machine in the lounge.

The chocolate drink from the vending machine is nothing spectacular, but the mango one is.

The ticket machine outside is pretty user-friendly, and apparently I just need to buy one ticket to get to Zurich - this ticket will be valid for my bus journey to the Basel bahnhof and then the train journey to Zurich. Once in the train, I let my friend know that I am on my way.

"I can come pick you up at Zurich, but it would be a little more than an hour," comes the reply SMS.

"That's fine," I say, "It'll probably take me an hour or so to reach there."

"You'll be there in 5 minutes. Check out the bahnhofstrasse, and I'll SMS you when I get close to the area."

Hmmm...that's a fast train, I think.

Just over an hour later, as the train pulls into the Zurich HB, I notice something odd: the platform is adjacent to the road. Essentially, one could just jump out of a car and into a train. Very nice!

Right outside is a nice castle-like building. I promise myself that I'd take a picture of it during the day as it is pretty dark by now and my camera can't handle such low light. As I start walking towards the bahnhofstrasse, my friend calls me to say that he's pretty close to the bahnhof now.

He picks me up off the road, and we celebrate with a high-five and a "woohoo" - a running, roadside pickup such as this is quite a feat in this country.

"So, for how long did you have to roam about? What all did you see?"

He is surprised to learn that I just got here, barely moments ago. The surprise lasts till it emerges that he was under the impression that I had landed in Zurich, not Basel.

After parking the car at a casino parking, we set out for a stroll through the city. The weather is very pleasant, with a cool breeze flowing through smoothly, and the city is beautiful. The irregular terrain makes for a spectacle of lights rising on both sides of the lake. The landmarks are ornate and majestic. And the cobblestone-paved lanes are charming and inviting. We try to catch-up on the past one year or so, while admiring and absorbing the beauty of the town at the same time - not an easy juggling act, I have to say.

Before heading home, we stop by at a traditional Swiss eatery where he recommends raclette to me. First arrives a table-top electric grill with small square pans. Then comes a tray of cheese slices, tomatoes, pickled onion, sliced & pickled jalapenos, tomatoes, sauteed mushrooms, roasted courgette and roasted pears. And finally, there's a sack of boiled potatoes. The steward explains that I should use the pans to melt the cheese. In the meantime, I should pick up the potatoes and slice them in half, thereafter pouring the cheese onto them. It sounds pretty strange to me and I can't "visualize" the taste. But I do as instructed, and the result blows me away. The food is so good, in fact, that I keep eating long after my hunger is satiated.

And this is just the beginning. As I would discover over the rest of the weekend, I'd be overeating at every single meal, especially the cheese and the chocolates. It's hard not to - the food is just so good.

Back at his place, we decide to learn and play a board game called Abalone that he had bought a while ago, and has been using as furniture. A little while after 5 of my marbles have been pushed off the board, I have an epiphany: To win, you have to push only six, not all, of the opponent's marbles off the board. Hmm...I have a feeling that I should lose, but it is well after 3am by the time we are done with the game.

"At what time will you wake up?", my friend asks.

"7.30-8am perhaps.."

"Okay, wake me up then, so that we can make the best use of the day."

"Cool"

Of course, we end up celebrating Romania's national day by sleeping till noon or so. There's only a few hours worth of sunlight, if it can be called that considering that it's cool and cloudy, left and we need to find a place that can be reached relatively quickly. I am presented with a list of places that roughly an hour away. I notice a little name peeking from a corner behind the list of all these nice places.

I, being me, have to say, "How about that one?"

"2 hours away"

"Is it worth it?"

And so that's where we decide to go. Let's use different routes for getting to and returning from Interlaken, my friend suggests. Splendid idea, I say.

Before that, we should grab a bite, for which we go to a bakery just around the corner. The spinach quiche is huge, and the glass of orange juice is tiny. The warmth is genuine, and the smiles are wide. And the chocolate. Oh, the chocolate. Suffice to say that the house chocolate truffles can only be described as little bits of heaven.

The drive to Interlaken is very pleasant. The scenery is amazingly beautiful in general, but between Luzern and Interlaken it is absolutely, stunningly, breathtaking. Unfortunately, I observe, there aren't any rest areas by the road where we can stop the car and take a few pictures. On second thought, if they were to build such areas, the whole region is so beautiful that they'd have to build them every 200 metres or so.

Eventually we reach Interlaken, thus named because it is in the middle of two lakes. My linguistically talented friend reads the notice in the parking. We're in luck - this weekend the parking is free, and the town is organizing its Christkindlmartk, the Christmas market.

The first thing out of the parking lot is a casino, and the second one is a Hooters restaurant. My friend explains that Interlaken is a very popular tourist spot for the Americans. Freshly graduated American university students visit London, Paris, Amsterdam and Interlaken for their "Eurotrips". Hmmm...interesting.

Interlaken is located between lakes Brienz and Thun and has the Aare river flow through town. The main attraction of the town is mount Jungfrau (German: "virgin"), an astonishingly beautiful mountain with a 4158m high peak. Jungfrau is flanked by Eiger (3,970 m) and Mönch (4,099 m). I have no idea what Eiger means, so I don't how to characterize the naming of the three peaks as the Virgin, the Monk and Eiger, though I suspect there's some interesting mythological tale behind the nomenclature.

A train goes right upto the top of Jungfrau, but we don't have much time today. Thus we decide to check out the town, especially its Christkindlmartk. The town is obviously geared to cater to a large tourist population, but isn't as "touristy" as some places I have seen. The Christmas market is lively and the vendors are cheerful. Cheese, wine, chocolate and trinkets dominate the stalls, though the general feel is jarred by the odd stall selling HD-ready televisions or the flashy plastic merry-go-round.

Cheese, cookies, chocolate, almost everything is available for free sampling, and we take advantage of the offer at a few places. What I do buy is magenbrot, the very filling, cinnamon and chocolate-frosted bread.

It's getting dark and there's not too much to do around town now.

"How about going further down to Lauterbrunnen, which is an absolutely gorgeous small village, and then we can get back here...perhaps the market will look better with the lights," my friend suggests.

"Fantastic idea."

Lauterbrunnen is all that and more. The gorge overlooking the village is gorgeous. The thin stream of a waterfall from the top of the cliff by the parking lot itself takes your breath away, especially as midway down, it goes through a deposit of snow - the only snow one can see on this side of the mountain.

The train from Interlaken to Jungfrau goes through here, and the houses in the basin make for as picturesque a setting as there can be. Unfortunately it too dark by now for pictures, but we keep shooting nonetheless. The train going through the mountains is the favorite subject, closely followed by the electric "star" lit up at the top of the cliff.

When we get back to Interlaken, the Christkindlmartk is busier, more cheerful, and better looking under the Christmas lights. We enjoy roasted chestnuts, crepes, and the festive atmosphere to the hilt and, under force of habit, click some pictures. I am told that Interlaken is a perpetual Bollywood favorite, and hosts hundreds of Indian film shootings every year. Since the late 80s, when terrorism drove movie producers out of Kashmir, Bollywood producers have been shooting in Switzerland, and apparently Interlaken is their favorite location.

While in town, I get a picture taken with Aishwarya Rai. Too bad that her presence is only as a picture on a small Longines poster. What's even more pathetic is that as soon as we saw this multi-brand luxury-goods shop with a Longines sign on it, we went in with the specific purpose of taking this picture, asking at least 4 attendants, from as many ethnicities, where the Longines department was. As my friend clicks my picture with Ms.Rai (now Mrs. Bachchan, but we can ignore that part for now), the Russian shop attendant shakes her head in disbelief. Boys will be boys.

On our way back home, we stop in Berne, the Swiss capital. The city of the bear is not a popular tourist destination, but is charming in its own way. Soon it starts to rain, and as my friend explains, it is good to be in Berne when it rains as the walkways/ arcade in the market are covered a la Picadilly Circus in London or Connaught Circus in New Delhi. In fact, the 6 kilometers of arcades form one of the longest covered shopping promenades in Europe.

There are bears everywhere, which is not surprising considering the fact that the city got its name from a bear that the founder Duke Berthold had killed. And there are characteristic Berne fountains. The Zytglogge clock tower, which has served as guard tower, prison, clock tower and civic memorial, showcases not just its 15th century astronomical clock, but also standard measures of length. The Münster, a 15th century Gothic cathedral, is majestic, as is the square of the Bundeshaus (Parliament House).

We wander around, taking pictures at every possible opportunity till we have to eat for the fear of the eateries closing down. For dinner, we get into one of a long line of Italian places, where I get some nice risotto porcini, served in large portions.

After a little adventure of getting lost and finding our way back again, we head back home.

On Sunday we get up a little earlier, i.e. 9am or so.

As we are getting ready, my friend decides to take a look at my blog, and only then realizes that in September I went to Romania, his home country! I can't believe that we never discussed that since we have communicated after my trip, but obviously we didn't as I can't recall any specific instance when we did. I guess sometimes it is possible to miss the blindingly obvious, like the Washington school forgetting to put Christmas on their calendar. It's even more ironic since for a while the quotation in the footer of my work email has been G.B.Shaw's, "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."

That discovery made, we need to pick up a gift for a friend next. Since everything in the town is closed on Sunday, we drive down to the airport to buy the present. The airport is the scene for a few more hilarious communication gaffes, and we are incredulous and in splits by the time we get out of the airport parking.

For lunch we've been invited to a friend's place. My friend tells me that the hostess is a Romanian married to a Swiss gentleman of Vietnamese ethnicity.

It's directly to the dining table at her place as we have evidently kept everyone waiting. I enjoy the salată de vinete (the Romanian Baba Ghanoush) with black olive bread and roma tomatoes till my stomach begs me to stop. And then it's time for a homebaked plum pie and a creamy chocolaty fudge. Additionally, there is the warm, sugary, syrupy, cinnamon and spice drink which seems like the perfect thing to have in a log cabin on a snowy winter evening.

While our hostess has been in Switzerland for over 9 years now, during which she has completed a PhD in organizational cybernetics and worked in different parts of the country, she remembers having watched Bollywood movies in her childhood: specifically, Ek Phool Do Maali (One flower and two gardeners), and Awara (the vagabond). I am told that a few decades ago many people names their sons Rege (Raj) after the Indian actor Raj Kapoor.

We talk about how my friend visited my hometown in India before I could, and then this year how I paid back by visiting Romania while he was slogging in Zurich. My friend explains to the hostess that we're like twins: like brothers, he has to do what I do and vice versa. I've long thought of him as my "brother from another mother, kinda like Mel Gibson and Danny Glover," but it was nice to hear him say it.

Our hostess recalls with a start that it's time for the Euro 2008 draw - declaration of the groups. So the TV is switched from a subtitled music station to the Euro 2008 live telecast. To the charging of my friend and my hostess, Romania has been placed in group C with France, Italy and Netherlands, the toughest possible competition for them.

Looking for the silver lining, we laugh that at least Romania will get more and better coverage now. Firstly, it's better to be crushed by a Rolls Royce than by a Yugo. Moreover, the group puts Romania in stellar company...the news would read something like, "France and Romania kicked out of the world cup"...even in failure, Romania will be accompanied by some of the best in business. Most importantly, we half-joke, strong competition will elevate Romania's game - it plays best against strong team, and manages to lose to the weak ones.

This is the best thing that could have happened to Romania, I philosophise. For one, it's liberating. There's no pressure now. The team can just go out there and play their game. And secondly, if they go through into the next stage, there is a reasonable chance that they'd be pitted against a weak team.

There's more reason to cheer as all of Romania's group matches will be either in Zurich or Berne, enabling my friends here to be there. Amidst loud laughter, there's some talk about turning up for the matches in traditional Romanian costumes to attract the cameras. In fact, the hostess observes, she should dress up her husband in a Romanian costume for the match as "Romanian team's only foreign fan".

Then, inevitably, the Romanians start talking to each other in Romanian. Our host begs them to slow down. He understands Romanian, but they are speaking too fast for him.

"Yes," I agree, "Romanians have a funny Romanian accent when they speak in Romanian."

Our host needs to leave to give his mother a computer lesson. He has been struggling with providing her telephonic support. My friend suggests a remote-terminal program which he says can solve the problem by letting one take control of another computer over the Internet. Unless, of course, the problem is that the Internet is not working.

"If your phone is not working, call us at our toll-free number," says he.

A bright day. Good food. The company of friends. What else does one need?

In the train back to Basel, when I present the return ticket to the inspector, I am advised that it is not valid anymore, that it expired on Friday. When I bought the ticket on Friday, the machine had asked "Travelling today or another date" and I had selected "today", thinking the question referred only to the onward journey, but evidently the answer determined the validity of the return ticket too. So I buy a ticket to Basel and ask my kindly inspector who doesn't speak or understand English if the return ticket I bought on Friday is useless. She takes the ticket and tells me that she'd ask her superintendent. After a while she returns with a giant of a man who hands me my expired ticket with a scribbling on the back. Says he, "I've written on this that you have paid today for the return journey. But the chances that they'll refund any money are very minimal." At the Basel bahnhof, however, the ticket agent is very helpful, and refunds my money right away, no questions asked.

The Basel Airport Hotel and Basel Grand Casino look really cool, bathed as they are in different colored lights. These places were designed for the colored lights though, unlike the ones in Manchester where it is a travesty as they shine all these colored lights on buildings with Gothic or Greek architectures.

At the airport, the security "line" is a breeze as there is no line at all. The departure status board indicates that my flight is due to leave from gate 3. After going through a hunting expedition, I reach the conclusion that the airport doesn't have gates 3 through 19! Hmmm...a friendly security agent advises me as to the general area where EasyJet flights take off from. Turns out that the flight will take off from gate 82.

All in all, what a fun weekend, and what a funny weekend indeed! Fun because I was able to meet a good friend after a long time and visit such a beautiful country. Funny because of the whole background track of "comedy of errors", with the numerous "Whaaaaaaat?" moments.

Like my friend says, weekends like this make working through the weeks seem worth it.

Click here to check out my pictures from Interlaken, Lauterbrunnen and Berne of 1 Dec 2007.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

The Kick's Too Wide on This One

One way to look at Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal would be to see it as the latest in the spate of sports movies that Bollywood's been churning out lately (Apne, Chak De India...). Another way would be to look at it as the latest "crossover" movie from a "young and fresh" director.

Of course, neither view would be accurate. For one, it is not a crossover film; it is instead a film targeted squarely at the desi population residing in the British Isles. It is based in the UK and deals with issues of desis based here. And it latches on to a sport that appeals to that section of the Indian diaspora.

Inherent in this choice of sport is also the difference from the other "sports movies": While Apne (boxing) and Chak De India (hockey) selected sports that are not necessarily the most popular among the masses, and deal with issues of sportspeople in these domains, Goal selects the sport (football) most popular among its target audience, and tries to ride on the formulae popularized by the numerous Hollywood movies on the subject.

The "Kabul Express" duo of Arshad Warsi and John Abraham is back in Goal. And like Kabul Express' Kabir Khan, Goal's director Vivek Agnihotri has smartly avoided putting any acting demands on John Abraham. There are only a couple of scenes where Abraham is expected to demonstrate some histrionic capabilities and, as expected, he delivers a big zero in that department.

Arshad Warsi, on the other hand, shows great maturity and versatility in a role that is relatively far removed from his core competence of comedy. Boman Irani is as dependable as ever in another addition to his repertoire of vastly diverse roles. Other supporting actors' performances are acceptable, except for that of Bipasha Basu, who hasn't grown at all professionally even after all these years in the trade.

And let's face it: just Boman Irani and Arshad Warsi can not power a film through, especially when the direction is as bad as in Goal. But to place the blame where it is due, the story and the screenplay are surely at fault here. Too bad for the director that he also shares credits for screenplay.

To be fair, the story concept is fine. It is conceivable that a dark horse would put all on the line, and come up from behind; that's what makes the sport so exciting. That the team members will rediscover themselves and re-evaluate their relationships is also a valid thread to follow. In fact, that is pretty much the story concept of every other American football movie.

The devil, however, is in the details. To begin with, the characters are not very well defined, though acceptable by Bollywood standards. What are not acceptable are the several incomprehensible turns of events. Several important events and turning points have been left unexplained or with loose threads.

Then, the way the whole premise of racism and discrimination is depicted seems to be very pre-1950s. This is not to say that there is no racism in Britain. Such a sweeping statement would most likely be untrue. But any racism that might be present is unlikely to be so rampant and blatant as several events are designed to convey.

Some parts are completely irrational and leave one completely incredulous. And of course, the "big surprises" don't surprise anyone.

All said and done, the direction is jerky and overly dramatic. And the uneven editing doesn't help.

Goal does have its moments, but they are more flashes in the pan than the silver lining behind the dark cloud. The scene depicting the crushing of the pride of the up-and-comer star Sunny Bhasin by the had-been, and now coach of a ragtag bunch, Tony Singh was a good thought, for instance. But it seems long drawn and boring because it quickly gets repetitive.

That said, there were a few moments that made me groan and the rest of the theater clap, whistle and cheer. Perhaps the director understands the psyche of the British Desi better than I do.

My verdict: Overall, a film best avoided.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Back to Base

This week I was out of town. My firm was facilitating culture-change workshops at hotels in Croydon and Gatwick for a large corporation. It was strange being away this week as both places were within easily commutable distances from my home. But my colleagues wanted to enjoy the hospitality of the hotels at the company's expense, and I didn't want to rock the boat, especially since I don't plan to work for this company for much longer.

One of my colleagues christened Croydon as "the hellhole of England". The Sesldon Park Hotel is quite good, though. It is comfortable, and has a well-landscaped golf course. It would appear, however, that the English haven't quite caught up to the American concept of business hotels. For while Selsdon Park is a four star place, it lacks some basic things one would expect: a radio alarm-clock (or any kind of alarm clock, for that matter) in the room, for instance. Or a vending machine where one could pick up a bottle of water or a snack at 1 am. My cribbing notwithstanding, the place does lend itself to leisurely walks in lush surroundings.

The Wednesday and Friday workshops were at the Gatwick Hilton, which is not bad at all for a transit hotel. However, I found the Felbridge Hotel, where we had the Thursday event, to be a much better venue for corporate workshops. It's quieter, plusher, classier, more comfortable, and frankly has better conference halls.

Click here to check out my pictures from Croydon of 6 Nov 2007.

On Friday evening, after having a look at the train schedule boards, I buy a Gatwick Express ticket with the intention of breaking my journey at Redhill to celebrate Diwali at a friend's place. Unfortunately, it would seem that I read the boards wrong for the Gatwick Express does not call anywhere between Gatwick and Victoria. So essentially I reach Victoria and take a Southern train back to get to Redhill.

Even so, I reach my friend's place before she was expecting me. Turns out she decided to "work from home" and slept through most of the afternoon, meaning that she hasn't had the time to make the laddoos. Argh!

While her husband had planned to get home early, the day is hardly going as per plan and he is stuck at work. So while we wait for him to get home, we chat as she irons the laundry. But it takes so long that I end up calling a couple of friends in New Delhi and doing a bit of shopping at the Sainsbury's around the corner before he finally arrives.

There is a quick ritualistic worship of Lakshmi and Ganesh. I help the duo make some laddoos, and then it's time for fireworks. We go down and meet some of their colleagues and friends, and together light up the fireworks. Consuming the whole stock takes close to 2 hrs, much to the charging of the British neighbors, I am sure.

The pyrotechnic material exhausted, we suddenly remember that we are hungry and rush back home. While some of us part ways, about 12 of us go up to my friend's place where we are served daal-stuffed paranthas, matar paneer, mirch ka achar and Bollywood music. I gobble it all down with ferocity and get out of the door just as the clock strikes 0020, leaving the others behind to booze, gambling and stale jokes.

While the National Rail website lists two trains to Victoria between 0030 and 0100 hrs, it turns out that due to maintenance work, there are no more trains departing from Redhill tonight. Instead of going back to my friend's place, I take a taxi home. The cab ride ends up costing me a cool £52. Heck, for that amount of money, I could have taken a return EasyJet flight to Basel or Marseilles. Oh, well!

Click here to check out my Diwali pictures (9 Nov 2007).

The Story of Diwali - The Legend of Rama

Happy Deepavali
The festival of lights

Today is दीपावली (Deepavali/ RO - Diipavălii/ IPA - di:pɑ:vəli:), commonly and correctly known to the West as the Hindu festival of lighs. In fact, the word Deepavali itself is a compound word formed by the combination of two Sanskrit (or Hindi tatsam) words: दीप (Deep/ RO - Diip/ IPA - di:p/ Meaning - lamp), and आवली (Avali/ RO - Avălii/ IPA - ɑ:vəli:/ Meaning - Line), and literally translates into „A Line of Lamps”.

Over the past few decades, the dimunitive दीवाली (Diwali/ RO - Diivalii/ IPA - di:vɑ:li:) has become the more common word used to refer to the festival within India. In Nepal, it is more commonly known as Tihar (Meaning - festival) and Swanti. In addition to the Hindus, the festival is also celebrated by Sikhs, Jains and Nepalese Buddhists.

Legend goes that the origin of the festival lies in रामायण (Ramayana/ RO - Ramaiăn/ IPA - ɹɑ:mɑ:jʌn), one of the two major epics (the other one being महाभारत/ Mahabharata/ RO - Măhabharăt/ IPA - Mʌhɑ:bhɑ:ɹʌθ) of the Hindus. Ramayana is the story of मर्यादापुरुशोत्तम (Maryadapurushottam/ RO - Măriadapurușottăm/ IPA - Mʌɹjɑ:ðɑ:pʊɹʊʃɒθʌm/ Meaning - the most honorable of men) Lord राम (Rama/ RO - Ram/ IPA - ɹɑ:m), the crown prince of the prosperous northern Indian region of अयोध्या (Ayodhya/ RO - Ăeodhia/ IPA - ʌjɒðjɑ:), who decided to go on a self-imposed exile from communal life for 14 years to fulfil a promise his father, the dead king दशरथ (Dashrath/ RO - Dașrăth/ IPA - Dʌʃrʌθ) made to Rama's stepmother. Wife princess सीता (Sita/ RO - Siita/ IPA - Si:tɑ:) and loyal half-brother लक्ष्मण (Lakshman/ RO - Lăcșmăn/ IPA - Lʌkʃmʌn) followed Rama into the forest while half-brother भरत (Bharat/ RO - Bhărăt/ IPA - Bhʌrʌθ) stayed back to take care of the kingdom as Rama's leige.

After several adventurous years in the forest, the trio of Rama, Lakshman and Sita is broken up when Lanka's king रावण (Ravana/ RO - Ravăn/ IPA - Rɑ:vʌn) abducts Sita. Rama and Lakshman organize an army of monkeys and bears and launch an offensive on the mighty kingdom of Lanka. After an epic battle, Ravana is defeated and killed, and princess Sita reunited with her husband (the day is celebrated as Dashahara). Fortuitously, this happens just 20 days before the end of the 14 years of exile. Thus, after enjoying a few days of Lankan hospitality, the princes and the princess fly back to Ayodhya in an aeroplane lent to them by विभीषण (Vibhishana/ RO - Vibhișăn/ IPA - Vɪbhi:ʃʌn), Ravana's brother and the new king of Lanka .

When the three reach Ayodhya, the citizen welcome them and celebrate by lighting thousands of lamps to brigthen the moonless night. Deepavali, according to the legend, is the yearly commemoration of the return of the virtuous, victorious and beloved king of Ayodhya.

There is also another reason for celebrating Deepavali; one that is more practical or sociological. Deepavali is the "other" new year for the Hindus. While Holi, in spring, heralds the beginning of the year for the agricultural community, celebrating the harvest of the winter crop (rabi) harvest, Deepavali, in autumn, marks the transition from one financial year to another for the traders. Of course, the summer crop (kharif) harvest is also celebrated.

Communities within India celebrate the festival differently. For instance, in Bengal, the festival is more commonly known as Kaali Pooja, and is marked by worship of Goddess Kaali.

In most of India, though, the celebration starts in the evening with a ceremonial worship of the Goddess Lakshmi (the giver of prosperity) and Lord Ganesh (the giver of wisdom). Thereafter, diyas (earthern lamps filled with oil or ghee) are lit around the house. In recent times, candles and Christmas-light-style electric-lights have extensively supplemented, and even largely replaced, the diyas.

It's all fun and frolic after that. People, who can afford it, don new clothes and take presents and sweets to the homes of friends and neighbors. For many, especially children, the whole festival of Diwali is signified by one word: fireworks. It would be tough to find a Hindu who has never enjoyed lighting a sparkler, cracker, "bomb", "rocket", anar, or chakri on Diwali.

Of course, because of all these independent (meaning every home has its own) firework displays, Deepavali is the busiest day of the year for the fire brigades. The police is also on high alert because of high rates of alcoholism and gambling on this day, owing to the superstition that financial gains made on this day bode well for the rest of the year.

Another interesting fact is that Deepavali is always on a no-moon night. No-moon night is of special significant for those that follow the magical and the occult, and Deepavali is said to be the day when the magical and the spiritual powers are at their strongest. Thus, it is believed that there are countless occult rituals and ceremonies performed this night, though it is unverifiable considering that such ceremonies are performed in shrouds of secrecy.

Like many other Hindu festivals, Diwali is also spread over several days. In fact, the celebrations go on for 5 days, with the main festival flanked on both sides by subordinate ones. The first day is धन तेरस (Dhan Teras/ RO - Dhăn Terăs/ IPA - ðʌn θɛɹʌs). Dhan means wealth and Teras is diminutive or contracted form of त्रयोदशी (Trayodashi/ RO - Trăiodășii/ IPA - θɹʌjɒðʌʃi:) which means the 13th day, simply signifying that this is the 13th day of the second half of the month. It is considered auspicious to buy gold, silver and other metals on this day. Making other major purchases (e.g.- buying a car) is also considered good. This practice is perhaps a misunderstanding of the name of the day itself: The day is thought to be the day when धन्वन्तरी (Dhanvantari/ RO - Dhănvăntării/ IPA - ðʌnvʌntʌɹi:), the master of healing and the idol of doctors, appeared in the great churning of the Ksheer Sagar - while the day takes its name from Dhanvantari, it is possible that over time the commonfolk took it to mean wealth.

Day two is नरक चतुर्दशी (Narak Chaturdashi/ RO - Nărăc Chaturdășii/ IPA - Nʌɹʌk tʃʌθʊɹðʌʃi:). Narak is a deformation of the word नर्क (Narq/ Ro - Nărc/ IPA - Nʌɹk) which means hell, and Chaturdashi means the 14th day. It is said that Lord कृष्ण (Krisna/ RO - Crrșn/ IPA - Kɹʃn) killed नरकासुर (Narkasura/ RO - Nărcasur/ IPA - Nʌɹkɑ:sʊɹ/ Literally - the demon from hell) on this day. It is believed that taking a bath before sunrise, when the stars are still visible in the sky is equivalent to bathing in the holy Ganges. Many people go around the house, creating on the floor colorful patterns called rangolis using powders usually found in the kitchen - earlier it used to be different flours and ground spices, but nowadays edible colors are often used.

The third and the most important day is known as Lakshmi Pooja or Deepavali. The fourth day is गोवर्धन पूजा (Govardhan Pooja/ RO - Govărdhăn Puja/ IPA - Gɔ:vʌɹðʌn Pu:dʒɑ:) which symbolizes Lord Krishna's advice that humans should harmonize with nature. It is also known as annkoot signifying that thrashing of the newly harvested crop begins on this day. Additionally, as per the Vikram calendar, this is the first day of the new year.

The last day of the festivities is भाई दूज (Bhai Dooj/ RO - Bhai Duj/ IPA - Bhaɪ θu:dʒ) with Bhai standing for Brother and Dooj meaning the 2nd day. On this day, brothers and sisters meet to express their love and affection for each other.

In conclusion, I leave you with these words from the बृहदरण्यक उपनिषद (Brhadaranyak Upanishad, RO - Brhădarăniăc Upănișăd/ IPA - Bɹʌhʌðʌɹʌnjʌk ʊpʌnɪʃʌð), which sum up the message of this festival:

असदो मा सदगमय
तमसो मा ज्योतिर्गमय
मृत्योर्मा अमृतमगमय
ॐ शान्ति शान्ति शान्ति

RO transliteration:
Ăsădo ma sădgămăyă
Tămăso ma giotirgămăyă
Mrîtyor ma ămrătămgămăyă
Oum șanti șanti șantii

EN translation:
(O Lord, lead us)
From illusion towards the truth.
From darkness towards the light.
From mortality towards eternity.
Oum (the seminal sound) peace, peace, peace (May peace be unto the earth).

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Visa Blues

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Annoying Techies

I have to return my previous company's laptop to them, so I pick it up and wipe the dust. I need to retrieve my personal files before I send the machine back. But I am unable to log in either to the domain or on the local machine.

Since it has been a while since I used this machine, I reckon that I might have forgotten the password. Thus I write to the company techie requesting him to reset my account password. It is from his response that I learn that my network account has been deleted.

Further, he tells me, there is no local account.

Hmm...so is there a guest or temporary account that I could use to log in and retrieve my files?

There isn't, I am told. The only account on my machine is a localy cached domain account. No local accounts were created, and for a new domain account to be able to log on the machine requires a pre-established connection to the domain controller for authentication. Of course, for the machine to connect to the domain, one would have to first initiate a VPN tunnel to the network after first logging on to the machine. In other words, Catch 22.

He offers that once he receives the laptop back, he would be happy to scour the Desktop and My Documents of the machine and burn the personal files (if any) onto a disk and mail it to me.

Yeah, and what if I wouldn't be happy to let him have a looksy? These control-freak techies are among the rare group of people that manage to grind my gears.

Anyway, since no help is forthcoming from that channel, I know what has to be done. I burn the image of a Linux boot disc and Windows sam file editing utility (Click here to download the 3MB image - use this to burn the image to the CD. Do not copy/burn the file to the CD) onto a CD. Then I boot the machine from this CD and set the local machine's Administrator password to blank.

It's pretty straightforward after that: I restart the machine, booting it from the hard disk, and logging in as Administrator. Then I go through the hard disk, search around for my files, move all my files to a flash disk, and shut the machine down.

I will courier the machine back to Mr. Techie tomorrow.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Ironic

Just came across the song "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette (yes, I am a dinosaur). I have to say that I think the song is aptly titled.

And here's the irony: This song about ironies and titled "Ironic" has been written by a woman who has not the faintest idea of what irony means.

"An old man turned ninety-eight. He won the lottery and died the next day"
What's ironic about that? Well, it could be ironic if the guy died of chronic emphysema caused by inhaling all the rubber scratched off thousands of lottery tickets over decades.

"It's like rain on your wedding day"
Hmm....only ironic if you are marrying Surya bhagwan, the Sun God.

"Mr. Play-it-Safe was afraid to fly. He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye. He waited his whole damn life to take that flight. And as the plane crashed down..."
That could be ironic if he were flying to an aviophobics conference.

"It's meeting the man of my dreams, And then meeting his beautiful wife"
Really, Alanis, there is no irony in that. Well, okay, a little bit of irony if the wife is your "relationship advisor" you hired to improve your "luck", and one who had vowed never to marry at that.

"It's a traffic jam when you're already late"
That's not ironic - that's just an annoyance. Unless, of course, you are the town planner of your city and are late for receiving an award for reducing congestion on the city roads.

I could rant on and on, but you get the idea. Somebody please strengthen English language education in schools of native English speakers!

Click here to read the lyrics of the song

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Staying Alive

Every night, almost without fail, I go out for a walk by the river, sometime between midnight and 3am.

Normally I walk down to the Albert Bridge, passing the Chelsea Bridge on the way. Occasionally I walk in the opposite direction, and walking the same distance takes me to Westminster. I prefer my regular route, though, as it is more peaceful.

The weekends are usually slightly different from the weekdays. For one, the decorative lights on the bridges become somewhat unpredictable. But more importantly, and amusingly, on weekends there is a good chance that I would run into a drunken lad who's been "walking in the wrong direction for 2 hours". Of course, I am usually the only person they see at the ungodly hour, and of course they have to ask me for directions and then walk with me till the Vauxhall Bridge (from where I turn left) to feel a little safer.

Yesterday, however, was one peculiar experience, though not a weekend. On my way back from the Albert Bridge, I stopped and sat down on a column of the embankment. I sat there engrossed deep in thought, or completely devoid of all thought, I can't be sure, for who knows how long before these three people approached me.

"Theek ho? (Are you okay?)", asked this Punjabi bloke.

"Haan (Yes)", I woke up from my stupor.

"You are thinking to die in the water?"

"What? This is the most absurd thing I've heard in a long time," I thought, but presently said only, "No, no."

Even as I was finishing my really short sentence, the Englishman asked, "Waitin' four yo gérlfrnd? Had a faaeet with yo gérlfrnd?"

"Oh, you arre such a good looking laad, you know thaaa?" chimed in the Welsh girl, "Here, take my hand, come down."

I followed that instruction since, almost on cue, it suddenly started to rain, and I had no intention of getting soaked in the chilly weather. I politely explained to my well-wishers that I just liked sitting there and relaxing.

While at the time I found the whole episode absurdly hilarious, as I walked home, it set me thinking, and I started to appreciate what the trio did.

I still don't know whether it was my "deep in thought" expression or my blank expression, or simply my sitting on the embankment that drew them to ask me those questions, but the point is that anyone of us could run into a situation where we might think that a stranger might be about to commit suicide or otherwise harm themselves, or otherwise are upset.

There are two types of errors one could make in such a situation: Error I - One does nothing (the typical Londoner's response) and the assessment turns out to be right, or Error II - One intervenes and the assessment turns out as being wrong.

The cost of Error II is invading someone's privacy for no apparent rhyme or reason, and risking being ridiculed. The cost of Error I could be as high as someone dying. While on the surface, the cost of Error II is personally slighter, I can not even begin to imagine how one could live on, dragging the weight of, "If I had just talked to that person for a bit, he might still be alive."

When one considers that London's multi-cultural society is comprised, to a large extent, of immigrants (international AND national), many of whom are away from friends & family and may not have well-developed social networks or safety nets, it becomes easier to understand how powerful a small idle chat, a kind word or a small act of kindness or thoughtfulness could be.

So the next time I suspect someone might be contemplating suicide, I WILL intervene, at the risk of personal ridicule. Of course, I'll try to be slightly more tactful than my three "rescuers".

Friday, September 28, 2007

Amitabh Bachchan

As I am walking down the street, a young hawker selling "The Big Issue", shouts at me, "Hey, Amitabh Bachchan"

I find that amusing, and break into a grin. For while this kid just saw an Indian and yelled a famous Indian name, little does he know that I share my birthday with the moviestar under question.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

It Was Murder, It Was Slaughter

The day in Upper Slaughter starts off with a long meeting in which halfwits debate matters of little or no consequence. This goes on all day, and being a member of the team, I have to endure this torture. Thankfully, during the breaks I can walk out into the little vegetable garden in the backyard of the hotel.

Once the business of the day is wrapped up, I go down to the front lawn where my colleagues are planning to play a peculiarly English game. Thus, I learn the game of croquet, and that I suck at it. Well, to be fair, I sucked at it when I was holding the mallet like a cricket bat, and get way better when I hold it the right way. By then, however, the game, as they say, is over.

Croquet is essentially a turn-based game in which one has to take a solid plastic ball around a court and through specific "gates", hitting with a wooden mallet. The objective is to do it before the others, so one of the things one does along the way is hit others' ball away from their targets. Fun stuff! I'm sure I'll have good fun the next time I play.

After the short game, we set out for a walk through the country. The little hamlet is absolutely, serenely beautiful. The landscape is bottle green, nay, greener still. A small stream runs through the front of the hotel, and there are fish swimming and ducks floating. Not a bad place, Upper Slaughter.

Mainly Monday

While I had managed to sleep soon after 1.30am, I am unable to get up at 4.30am as planned, and it is 5 by the time my eyes open. I was supposed to have left town by now. With a bit of rushing about, I finally check out of the hotel at 5.15am.

I would have imagined a sunrise around now, but it is pitch dark; autumn is here. Back on the highway, there are a reasonable number of cars rushing to Bucureşti. Of course, the highway is dominated by lorries and trucks in terms of percentage of vehicles on road.

As I cruise down the highway, I find my sweet spot behind a pick-up truck doing 125 kmph or so. As luck would have it, the "I" has dropped off from the large printed make name, and all I see written in front of me is "Daca" (the truck is evidently a Dacia, a popular Romanian brand). If there's a God, (S)He sure loves irony (Daca means "If" in Romanian).

The sky starts turning dark grey around 6.05am, though I know sunrise is still a while away. The air is cold and the headlights of the oncoming traffic are distracting, sometimes blinding. The only comfort is the crackling voice, on the radio, of Richard Marx crooning, "Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you".

I reach the airport around 7.20, shortly after dawnbreak - it took me more time to navigate the streets of Bucureşti than to traverse the distance between the two cities!

I have to wait a while before the check-in opens, but at least I have the satisfaction of being first in line for the counter that still reads "Milan". Meanwhile, my cellphone battery dies, and I can't spot any electric sockets around. But that's alright, I am not expecting any calls.

When the counter opens, a smartly dressed ground staffer checks my details and assigns me a window seat, not on the wing, as requested. And then, the printer refuses to print my boarding pass. The poor staffer struggles with the printer, and after 15 mts of what can only be described as bloody war, he is finally able to get me my boarding pass.

All I have to do now, is go through the security screen. As I am collecting my belt, wallet, jacket etc., a security guard comes up with my backpack and asks, "Is this yours?"

"Yes"

"Open it please"

I ask her what she's looking for, and she tells me: "Two bottles". I know right away that she's talking about the two jars of zacuscă that a friend gave me last night. I take them out, and she tells me, "You can't take that. Creams not allowed."

"This is not cream", I reason, "this is food." By now, a small contingent of security people has congregated around me. A helpful guard points me to the words, "..or objects of similar consistency" on the poster listing the items not permitted past the security screen.

A stout and scruffy man, who is quite evidently the supervisor, trudges over. After a quick word in Romanian with the guards, he shakes his head and tells me solemnly, "You can either throw this away, or check it in."

Of course, I know he is right. "I'll check it in," I say gruffly.

There is no way I am leaving the zacuscă behind. Nor am I checking in my laptop and the glass jars for Heathrow. I pick up my wallet and keys and put them in my pockets very slowly. I take my own sweet time getting the belt and jacket on. Then I pick up my backpack, and studiously walk right to Gate number 9.

Rules are not for Indians. Not in Romania.

Gate number 9 is currently boarding for Milan. I take a seat, and try playing with my laptop. After the flight has been boarded, the gate display changes to say that Athens, scheduled for 10.05, is checking in. This makes me nervous - may be they've changed the gate for the London flight. I want to check, but there are no staffers at the gate. So I walk to the other gates - 7, 8, 10, 11, and 12 asking each if they know anything about a gate change. They don't, and advise me to wait.

After what seems like an interminable length of time, I ask the lady to my left for time, and it is already past the boarding time. So both of us jump up, and start asking the staffers at the other gates again. They still have no clue, and again advise us to wait. I am in no mind to follow that piece of advice, and tell my fellow passenger that I will go and check upstairs (Yes, there are gates right over one another - ground floor gates open outside for boarding via stairs while the first floor gates are used to board via jetways/ aerobridges).

Sure enough, the gate for London has been changed to 5, and sure enough, the flight is late by a half hour. By the time we board, however, it is clear that takeoff will be delayed by over a quarter and one hour.

As I sit down in my seat, I suddenly feel very tired. It is as though I have walked a thousand miles. I have no idea what the girl in the aisle seat is saying to me, and my eyes are droopy; but before drifting off, I do manage to tell her to hide her phone as the host who told her to switch it off is coming back towards us.

I am woken up by the host who has brought me the special "raw vegetarian" meal. My neighbor, it turns out, is returning to London after 4 months to give it another chance. She spent about 8 months there the first time around, but couldn't stand being away from family and friends. Originally from a small town close to the Moldova border, she has been living in Bucureşti, working for a car rental company. The owner of the company, she says, is smart: He doesn't ask for hundreds of Euros worth of deposit for rental cars, and instead charges a fee of €20 which goes directly to profits. Smart indeed, I agree.

She tells me about what she used to do in London (site manager for a construction company), where she used to live, how her boyfriend totalled the car they loved and didn't have insurance for, and how she was supposed to fly the day before yesterday but couldn't. She also tells me about a few good Romanian restaurants in London, though unfortunately, I have forgotten the names :-(

This is the fourth time she is going back to her boyfriend. "I used to be a happy person," she tells me. In spite of everything, I have to struggle hard to suppress a smile. I am sure (S)He must be laughing somewhere.

We land in Heathrow about a half hour late. Thankfully, since my seat is close to the aircraft's exit, I am among the first people to get off. I overtake the rest of the people en route to the border controls, and manage to be the first person in the "Non EU passports" queue. Border controls and customs are a breeze, and I am able to run into the Picadilly Line tube about to depart.

It is already after 1pm by the time I reach home. I need to unpack, repack, shower, shave, and dress in formals quickly, and get to Upper Slaughter for a company event. While I would have liked to go to office for a little while before that, there's no time now.

As I run to the tube station, I manage to grab some Chinese take-away food, and get to the Paddington station at what I consider to be a reasonable time considering that I need to reach the hamlet called Upper Slaughter only around 4pm. At the self-service ticket kiosk, I don't see Upper Slaughter in the list of stations connected to Paddington by train, so I go in to the counter and ask for help. The cheerful and polite African lady tries to help, but can not figure out how I could get to Upper Slaughter.

Time to open my magic laptop. Apparently, the closest station to Upper Slaughter is Kingham, from where it is a 15 mts taxi ride to the hotel. Excellent! I buy a return ticket from the kiosk, and look at the departure boards. Hmmm...no trains listed as calling at Kingham.

A quick trip to the information desk reveals that I just missed a train, the next one is due for 3.51pm (I'm definitely not getting there by 4pm as planned) and the platform would be announced 5 mts or so before then.

The 3.51pm train is just a couple of minutes late - in India, we wouldn't even call it late - in arriving at Paddington, but drops me off at Kingham shortly after 5.15pm as per schedule. As I walk out, I see a little bus, and the driver is looking straight at me. Perhaps, he is waiting for me. But I don't recognize the town name on it. So I wave him off, and set out to find myself a taxi.

There is a car park double the size of the station itself, but I can not see any taxis. Heck, there is not a living soul in sight anymore. I check all the signs and posters to scout for information. Nothing! Of course, the office is closed as it is after 5pm.

So I walk towards the road on which the occasional vehicle seems to zoom by. No taxis. I try tumbing a ride, but no one seems keen to stop, which is understandable considering that most of the drivers seem to be little old ladies. In any case, even if they did stop, I haven't a clue as to which direction I need to go.

I walk up to the building about 200m and knock on the door. The gentleman answering the door is kind enough to tell me that there are no cabs within town, and that the closest place to get a cab would be Chipping Norton. He also tells me that there are taxi service numbers posted back at the station.

Getting back to the station, I am finally able to locate the numbers, and call from the public phone booth at the station. I try all the services I can till my coins run out, but none of the taxi services is willing to send anyone this far away.

Thus I wait for the bus, and board it when it arrives. It is going to Bledington but is the only bus that plies by Kingham, and on its return journey, it will indeed go to Chipping Norton. I am fine with that, and welcome the opportunity to sit in the bus as opposed to freezing outside. The driver recognizes me from his previous trip, and asks me where I need to go.

"Upper Slaughter"

"Upper Whaa?"

"Slaughter"

"Huh?"

"Sloter"

"Sorry, whaa?"

"Slowwter. S.L.A.U.G.H.T.E.R."

"Oh, Slowthaa!"

"Yeah, I guess I should be able to get a taxi from Chipping"

Finally we reach the last stop in Chipping Norton, but there are still no taxis in sight. The jovial and perky driver, however, tells me not to worry.

He leaves me at the Fox Hotel's bar after speaking to the landlady. The nice landlady phones a cabbie, and he promises to get down in about 20 minutes. So I sit there sipping some Orange-Passionfruit J2O, reading The Guardian, and waiting for the cab, which arrives promptly in about 30 minutes.

As it turns out, Upper Slaughter is just about 20 minutes away from Chipping Norton. On the way to the hotel, the driver tells me that India has won the 20-20 cricket world cup final against Pakistan. Finally...something to celebrate.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Monasterie de Curtea de Argeş

Decided to go to the monastery in Curtea de Argeş on Sunday afternoon. Since curtea means "court", I am guessing that in older times, this place must have been the capital or seat of government for the region. While hypothetically the word could also have been used in the same sense that my hometown is in the "courtyard of the Ganges" or in the "backyard of the Himalayas", I think the probability of that is low simply because the Argeş does not flow through the hamlet (Argeş is the name of both the river and the region).

Driving down there from Piteşti is interesting as the landscape gets increasingly magnificent. While it does not exactly become breathtaking by the time one reaches Curtea de Argeş, it does stoke one's imagination, and seduces one to go on further. Alas, on this occasion that does not seem to be a possibility.

As I drive closer to the monastery, it surprises me that even in this little hamlet, the main road is one-way. Thankfully the monastery's parking is large enough to hold a few cars.

The monastery itself is a remarkable piece of work. The living quarters are made of brick, with crawlers covering the walls in beautiful autumn colors. Inside the church, there are make-shift counters selling talismans, trinkets, and assorted material for various rituals.

All around me are murals of Romanian "saints", ALL of whom are battle-armored and heavily armed. It is not too far-fetched a guess, I suppose, that they were all leaders of various factions in the crusades.

Interestingly, in the main chamber, two large frescoes dominate the ceiling: naştere (birth) on the left and cină (supper) on the right. It is especially noteworthy as immediately outside the building, there are two little structures for lighting candles: left one to pray for the alive and the right one for the dead.

Cină (the last supper) is curious in another way too. While 10 apostles are at a distance from Christ, just like in the DaVinci painting, two are physically not just close to Him, but almost embrace Him. More importantly, these two are almost certainly women.

I walk out, light the candles praying for the alive and for the dead, and proceed to the main cathedral, where some repair works seem to be underway.

En route to the cathedral, I am introduced to the legend behind it. It is said that the workers building the monastery were struggling with a peculiar problem: they'd build the walls by the day, and by night these would come down, and they'd start again the next day with the same result. Then one day the chief architect Meşterul Manole had a dream. He was instructed to follow the ancient custom of placing a living woman into the foundations. In fact, he was to bury the first woman to turn up at the site in the morning. As luck would have it, the first one to turn up that morning was his wife Ana. To this day one can see a sign stamped on the outside of the cathedral wall where Ana is supposedly buried. Some heartwarming tale this!

The architecture of the cathedral bears significant influence of Turish architecture. So much so, that it look more like an ornate mausoleum than a cathedral. This influence comes as no surprise considering that its consecration on 15 August 1517 (on the Assumption of the Virgin) was done in the presence of outstanding Orthodox luminaries, led by the Patriarch Theolipt of Constantinople.

The inside of the cathedral is elegant and foarte frumos. It's a pity that the inside chamber is closed to visitors.

At the gate, a gent says, "Namaste". He wants me to click a picture of him, his wife and toddler together at the gate. Though the girls are in a hurry, and even a bit annoyed, I oblige willingly. Couldn't have said no to that request. Not after he said "Namaste" to me.

Not too far from the cathedral is a small spring of cool water called Manole's fountin. I suspect (imagine?) that there is some legend behind it too, though I am not regaled with any such tales.

The monastery tour complete, it is time to grab a bite. The eatery is at some distance, a short-walk past charming houses sporting wooden columns and trees laden with little purple apples.

At the restaurant, a furry, cute kitten has drawn the fancy of the girls, who are doting over it. It walks over to me and I stroke its head gently.

The plump but agile landlady (or is she merely a waitress?) with a gentle face is merry and good-natured. She seems happy to see someone visiting from a different part of the world, and even happier that I am able to pronounce the menu items almost correctly.

She tells me that I can take away the cat as a gift, if I like. I think to myself, "I would like to, though not the one you refer to."

The coated pressed cheese (caşcaval) and grilled mushrooms (ciupercă grătar?) are out of this world. Still apă (water) is called flat, while sparkling is referred to as mineral. Surprisingly, the beer is German, not Romanian.

On the way back, I drive as slowly as I dare to, wanting to make the day last a little longer. But of course, Piteşti appears much sooner than I was hoping.

I decide that my pit stop for the night is to be Hotel Metropole (derived from Metropolitanate, I guess). Inevitably, there is a wedding across the street, and the loud merry music fills the ears of the night.

Before retiring, I end up at a bar for a nightcap. I notice that it is an unusual bar, with the seating area divided into separate chambers each with its own television. I spend some time chatting with a technocrat and mathematics teacher, leaving him with a tech/maths riddle. Tomorrow I'll be far away from this town.

Click here to check out my pictures from Curtea de Argeş of 23 Sept 2007.

Far, Near: Prose In Verse

I wander in a foreign land
That's what a wanderer does
I don't decide where I go
Feet take me where they must

'Tis where they bring me now
My eyes n' ears too conspired
For to hear her voice and
see her smile they desired

A dark night of a long day
I search for her in the alley
She's standing in the stairs,
I see then, front of a galley

She turns arounds, spots me
Her face glows with a smile
I want to stop in my tracks,
Watch that look for a while

And I thought not it possible
But this cool eve of September
Standing there she's no doubt
More beautiful than I remember

So I just walk down to her
She steps forward, it's fate
Embraces me with a "Hello" and
I wish time would stop and wait

As we go inside the place
She asks me, "How are you?"
How am I? "No complaints"
And believe it, that's true

But I just leave it at that
Don't finish my words through
"No complaints of my life
One that led me to meet you"

Tho' I listen to her friends
And I laugh at their jokes
Small talk isn't of interest
No sentiment it provokes

If you don't say the one thing
You want so much it does you maul
Where is the merit in saying
anything but anything at all?

And all I really want to do
is reach over, grab n kiss her
And to hold her in my arms
and to stay that way for ever

But I avoid all tactility
My heart's stubborn child is gruff
Wants "all or nothing" & knows
Her slightest touch'd make it tough

Her touch, her glance, her smile
It'd make me weak n' do me hew
I might just be lost forever
without a chance of rescue

To be lost or torn apart
I don't know what's worse
It maybe dull, prosaic to you
But to me it's all inverse

When we were a long way afar
I spent every second with her
Musings of her loomed by day
by night her dreams occured

And now that I sit alongside
there's a yawning gap between
I sit tight deadpan or else
I know which way I'd careen

Night gets late, gathering over
We're split up, bidding goodnight
She wakes me later, her face
so close to mine, smile so bright

My lips caress her face, quivering
My head rests on hers, eyes close
My face aches, but I let escape
words nor kisses, mighty flows

Is not a fire in sight
Does something burn inside?
Can't see the flames, for sure
But smoke gets in my eyes

But then she kisses my eyes,
my lips n face, holds my hand
She kisses my face some more
Kisses that say, "I understand"

My face is soaked with kisses
Like torrential showers they rain
As a cool stream through desert
They wash away all the pain

When my eyes open, she's gone
And I am all alone in my bed
Sitting still and pondering
Every thing that was unsaid

Well, 'twas a dream perhaps
It must have been a dream
Because my face still aches
And there's no cool stream

There's not a fire in sight
Does something burn inside?
Can't see the flames, I know
Yet smoke gets in my eyes

I hear that some times
some dreams do come true
I wonder what wishes are
the ones that bear fruit

You might think I'm daft,
weird, pathetic or insane
Truth be told, I'd agree but
what to do with the pain?

Don't make fun, don't cry for me
And certainly hold the requiem
My destiny's far, I know, but what
keeps me alive is chasing the dream

Piteşti

Drove down to Piteşti on Saturday evening via the Bucureşti-Piteşti highway (or simply "the highway", as that's the only one in Romania). Piteşti, the capital of Argeş, is about a 100km from Bucureşti.

From what I've read, T. Bowyer's comment on Piteşti, based on Luigi Mayer's etchings was, "nothing more wild or romantic can be conceived".

Geographically, it is not all that different from my hometown, surrounded as it is by hills and located as it is on the banks of a river. I hear that they grow plums here and use them to produce what is considered to be one of the finest Romanian ţuicas.

Wandering about, I take refuge in the first hotel around the city center that I can find. It turns out to be Hotel Victoria. Yes, irony is my middle name. 1500 miles from London, and the hotel I end up at is called Victoria.

I can't be bothered by the fact that there is a boisterous wedding party going on in the hotel's restaurant. They are not even close to being as loud as Indian weddings.

For dinner, Quattro Stagioni is just around the corner. At the restaurant, I run into a couple of American Peace Corps volunteers. One of them happens to have lived in not just the same city, but the same street in which I used to live in America. Small world? You bet! Should I even bother noticing ironies anymore? Who knows?

The waitress takes her time to take the order and bring the food, which suits me just fine. I order pizza as that seems to be the specialty of the joint. Hmmm...around here they evidently do not put any sauce on the pizza. Instead, they supply some sauce in a separate bowl. The American girl helpfully explains that sometimes this sauce could simply be tomato ketchup right out of the bottle. The pizza is not the best I have eaten, but I am taken by the sauce bowls shaped like Aladdin's lamp. I notice another amusing fact: The name of "the" beer around here is Ursus - so they drink the bear beer.

When the American Peace Corps volunteer finds out where I am parked for the night, she proffers the local knowledge that the Bar Victoria is a seat for prostitution. Now that is one piece of information that I could have happily gone through my life without knowing. I really didn't need to know that. Anyway, she's been in this country for just under two years, and feels the need to talk to someone "from home". So I humor her.

There's a club called Temple right across the street from Hotel Victoria. A pretty strange place too, for while the music is loud and thumping, 90% of the crowd seems happy to either just stand there or do the minimalist waltz. Of course there is the odd girl dancing on a table, but aside from that this is probably as dead a nightclub as I have ever seen.

It's not long before the owner finds objection to our blocking the passageway and we decide we are done which, I think, is just as well. A short walk follows before I call it a day.

A dream wakes me up a little early in the morning. Then I try and sleep in fits and starts till I finally get up around 9.30. What does today have in store? A quick trip to Sibiu? A trek up the surrounding hills perhaps? We'll see...

First things first, I need to check out of the hotel. That done, I leave the car in the hotel's parking and walk down to the Piteşti centrum, where a significant population of the town has converged to celebrate Sunday. Happy families are here to visit the Church of Saint George (kirk de Sfântu Gheorghe?). They are shopping at the special little market. Little kids are enjoying the tricycles and other rides available for rent. And far too many are enjoying the beer and the chicken being grilled by the guy who fans the stove with a blow dryer.

The meandering, serpentine flower-beds and paths look spectacular. I just wish I could fly or otherwise gain some altitude, and take an aerial picture. And I absolutely love the astronomy fountain - it's got a rotating earth at the core, and constellation signs engraved on the boundary wall.

Adults look at me with furtive glances, noticing my unusual skin color. But children and old people, who have fewer inhibitions, are more persistent with their questioning gazes asking, "What are you doing here?" And I respond with a smile that says, "Don't look at me. I don't have all the answers."

The local bookshop is named after Mihai Eminescu, the national poet. Further down is the Curtea de Apel. While Mircea cel Bătrân's statue still stands across the road from Galeria de Arta, they've dug up the whole area. In fact, they've evidently hit a sewage line, and some foul-smelling slurry is accumulating in a pit nearby.

Once I have walked the walk, I go back to the hotel to pick up the car, and drive around town. I come across several rows upon rows of identical building blocks, a result, no doubt, of the systemization program of Ceauşescu. The gara (railway station), a major junction, is of the same mold. The winds of change have blown some of this over, however, and there are many smaller villas and other standalone houses. Additionally, of course, there are large modern apartment blocks that give the illusion of being from the systemization era due to their scale. What sets them apart is the "inefficient and unnecessary" design and colors.

I drive on. Bono cries, "I will follow" over the radio.

Click here to check out my pictures from Piteşti of 23 Sept 2007.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Bucureşti

I wake up a little late in the morning, and after checking out, I leave the car in the parking and go around the corner for a dekko at Gara de Nord. The station is grand, and it isn't hard to see that this is the most important one in Romania. The building is not quite imposing, but it's got that feeling of strength and wisdom.

There are florists all around the gara, and many of them carry flowers in the most shocking colors that I have ever seen - cobalt blue, shocking pink, and many others. And some of these florist have bouquets of interesting combinations of these bright colors.

As I walk along, one thing that puzzles me is the network of cables hanging 15 feet over the roads. What could possibly be their purpose? So far I haven't seen anything utilizing them.

Anyhow, I go down one of the subway entraces to the Gara to check it out. But of course, there are turnstiles bloking the path and demanding a ticket, which I don't have. And I have no intention of buying one, as there is nowhere I have to go.

So I walk back to the hotel's parking, still wondering about the whole web of cables over the roads. This couldn't be for the trams - trams would only need on straight set of cables directly above the rails, while these cables are all over and going in all possible directions. Could this be how electricity is distributed to buildings? Seems highly unlikely as it would be hugely wasteful and confusing. Besides, I can not see any of these cables actually entering any building.

I am still engrossed in this thought when a couple of kids shout "Salaam Walaikum" to me from the footpath. They probably think I am Egyptian or something. Not wanting to disappoint them, I yell back "Walaikum Assallaam", and they carry on, giggling.

As I get out of the parking, I decide that my first stop for the day is to be the Palace of Parliament. Driving down to the palace, I notice some people driving over the tram tracks. Now, I haven't ever driven over tram tracks, except in Microsoft Midtown Madness San Francisco, but I like the idea and take to it like fish to water.

The concept is especially appealing as the width of the roads is often deceptive. Driving down a wide, 3-lane avenue, one suddenly realizes that the two right lanes aren't moving. It isn't because of traffic lights either - these cars are parked in the middle of the road!

Palatul Parlamentului is unique for several reasons. For one, as everyone will go to great lengths to convey, it is the second largest administrative building in the world, bested only by the Pentagon (which, incidentally, was built to be converted to a library upon the end of the war).

While it was briefly called Casa Poporului, Palatul Parlamentului is the name that has stuck. And to me, that name speaks volumes. By no means have I travelled to every country around the world, but I suspect there is no other nation that calls the building housing its parliament a palace. The magnificent palace was built by Ceauşescu as his own residence, but winds of change blew fast and hard enough to substitute him with a parliament. And yet, how could you call such a spectacular building anything but a palace?

The biggest irony of all, I think, is how this palace has seen Romania's move from one extreme to the other. While it was built by communist Ceauşescu, today one can rent many of the grand rooms for business conferences and even private functions.

There is a steep fee for photographing, and an even steeper one for videographing. But the 20 RON entry fee includes an English tour. The truth is, the only way one can get in as a tourist, is with the tour guide. Anyhow, though I didn't notice it at the time, entry fee is RON 5 upon producing a student ID. I feel like a fool for not taking advantage of that. My only consolation, I guess, is that I did smuggle my camera in and clicked a few pictures.

The palace is as magnificent and elegant as it gets. The carpets, the curtains, the wood panels, the marble columns and floors, all are from another era. The tour guide explains that all the materials and workmanship is Romanian, though some rooms draw architectural inspiration from other parts of the world.

Legend has it that the construction of the palace created such a massive demand for Romanian marble that tombstones throughout the country had to be made from other materials.

Another much discussed fact is how numerous churches, synagogues and houses were razed to build the palace. Many of the people thus displaced to small apartments couldn't adjust and committed suicide.

Notwithstanding the dark history, one can't help but marvel about the sheer scale of the enterprise. The guide tells me that the palace contains 3500 tonnes of crystal - chandeliers, lights, mirrors, window & door panes, all are crystal.

The ceilings of most rooms contain holes for natural ventilation - not as a concession to the environment, I suspect, but a sign of the treacherous times where poisoning air vents would have been a very real possibility.

There is also an emphasis on natural light, with skylights and large windows in most rooms. The acoustics in this place are absolutely phenomenal, except in the one room that was built specifically for opera.

As always, my camera's battery dies just before the best part. While I have wisened up and bought an additional battery for such eventualities, on this occasion the extra battery is in the car, and I am not allowed to just run out and get it. So I have to make do with a few pictures grudgingly taken with my good-for-nothing phone camera.

The palace also houses the Muzeul Naţional de Artă Contemporană, which, unfortunately, is evidently not open on Saturdays. So, it's time to leave the compound. As I walk out, I catch melodious strains of music coming from the park across the road. Aha, a party under the sky. Wonderful! But not for me. Not today.

Upon reaching Arcul de Triumf, I try parking on the striped area beside another one parked there. Little do I know that this is an unmarked police car. Two cops come running and tell me that I'll have to move.

I wonder whether the police is normally deployed in this area or it is here because of the protest march for which many bikers seem to be congregating. Anyway, I do have to move, so I slide out slowly and into a bylane to park in a private area.

The Arcul de Triumf is every bit as majestic as it looks in the pictures. It reminds me of India Gate in Delhi, though here the piaţă is smaller. In the flower-beds around the piaţă are bright yellow marigolds. I have never seen a marigold outside India before this.

One can climb up the Arc, passing through some depressingly dark and dingy landings. Once on the top, though, one doesn't want to climb back down for one gets the illusion of being able to look at the whole of a green and enchanting Bucureşti.

Considering that the Arcul de Triumf is modelled after Arc de Triomphe in Paris, it is only fitting that the next piaţă I cross, just a few hundred metres down, is Piaţă Charles de Gaulle.

Not far from Arcul de Triumf is the Institutul Agronomic. And as luck would have it, they are having a Rural Romania exposition there today. I walk in and wander around in wonder, looking at the stalls promoting fabric, traditional clothing, handicrafts, and tourism. The fur caps look exactly like their Russian equivalents, but the handicrafts as well as costumes are enchanting. I see Peninsula Eden's presentation, and make a mental note that Tulcea seems worth visiting. And then a folk musician starts to play his flute. Oh, the flute! I am not buying any souvenirs yet; perhaps I'll be back.

I would really like to visit Mausoleul din Parcul Carol (Parcul Carol was called Parcul Libertăţii during the communist era), Avântul ţării, Memorialul Renaşterii, Ateneul Român, Curtea Veche, Hanul lui Manuc and Romanian Architects Association, but all I have time for today is Palatul Cotroceni. Maybe I'll get another chance to visit the places I miss out on this weekend.

So I drive down towards Palatul Cotroceni and inevitably get lost. Stopping at a Farmacie to get directions, I am delighted to see an Indian brand of OTC (Over The Counter) drugs/ supplements prominently displayed in the showcase. The lady is really nice, and is able to give me directions to the palace, even though she hardly speaks a word of English. The great thing about asking for directions in this country is that people actually tell you distances in kilometers and meters (at most other places, they would either skip the distance part, or give distances in minutes...or sometimes in blocks).

En route, I am finally able to solve the mystery of the wild wired web: apparently Bucureşti's multi-faceted public transportation system includes trolleybuses.

The palace is located in a large compound surrounded by a strong wall. Upon reaching the correct gate of Cotroceni Palace, I am told that the palace is open for visitors only Monday through Friday. Oh, well!

Lionel Richie is still singing "I wonder where you are, and I wonder what you do..." Is it just me or does the FM radio keep repeating the same songs over and over?

Next stop, Piteşti.

Click here to check out my pictures from Bucureşti of 22 Sept 2007.

Getting to RoaMania

When I was trying to book my ticket, I essentially considered two options: British Airways and Tarom Romanian Air Transport which are priced comparably. Partly because British Airways has pissed me off by consistently losing my luggage, and partly to begin my Romanian experience even before reaching the country, I booked my flight on Tarom.

As an aside, I also checked out Blue Air, which was offering rock-bottom airfares but not the dates I was looking for. So if your dates are flexible, you may be able to fly to Romania at a small fraction of what BA or Tarom charge. Don't be concerned by the fact that Blue flies to Băneasa airport (Aurel Vlaicu International Airport) as it is even closer to the city than than Otopeni airport (Henry Coandă International Airport), and the two airports are pretty close to each other anyway. Also, I hear that the low-cost carrier EasyJet has plans underfoot to start a London-Bucureşti service from mid-October or thereabouts.

My flight is due to take off from Heathrow at 12.30pm on Friday, and I reach the check-in desk at around 11.20am. The tall, wiry gentleman asks if I have any luggage to check in, and I tell him I don't. He wants to check the weight of the backpack which I am taking as cabin baggage, so I place it on the scale. He shakes his head, "13kg is too much. Maximum allowed 6.5kg. You'll have to check it."

But I am not about to check in my new laptop, and definitely not at Heathrow, "Listen, I could just take a few things out and put in my jacket pockets and carry this thing into the cabin. Won't make any difference."

I don't know it if is my words that get him or my disposition, but he doesn't say anything, and hands me my boarding pass.

Next stop security screening. Of course they have to find something that they want to examine. This time it is my laptop. Since I have the laptop screen covered with the white unspun-fabric dust-cover that it came in, it is a suspicious object and warrants a chemical screening. I don't mind - all this keeps things at least a little interesting before the flight time.

And as it turns out, the flight is late anyway. In fact, even the gate number hasn't been announced by 12.20pm. Oh, well, some people may be in a hurry to get to wherever it is that they are going, but for me not really knowing where exactly I am going is almost liberating. It liberates me from the shackles of timeliness worries in any case.

On board, I find a relatively old but clean plane with dated upholstery and entertainment system. The service is efficient and provided with a smile, and the nice middle-aged hostess comes back offering extra bread, minutes after she has distributed the food trays. There is some wine available, though I can't vouch for it, not having tried it. While my neigbor grunts and groans about not getting the vodka that he could really have used, I am impressed with the warmth of the service. Heck, they even put a large piece of roasted chicken in one of the containers of my "raw vegetarian" food.

We land in the Henry Coandă airport around 5.30pm local time. I guess that ours is the only international flight that has landed in this part of the airport as the queues at passport control aren't too long. I reckon that I can beat the queues completely if I take a quick bathroom break. This turns out to be exactly right as when I get back in a couple of minutes, there are just 3-4 people in queue at each window.

Just as I am walking to one of them, a nice, young lady waves me over to the counter that she has just gotten behind. She looks at me closely, trying to match my face to the picture on the visa. She asks me to hold my hair back, which is funny because I think I have some hair falling on my forehead in the visa picture. But I do follow her instructions; she is finally satisfied and starts jotting down the details.

Then she asks me for my address in Romania, and realizing that I don't have a clue, I am at a loss for words for a few seconds. She tries to help me, "Do you have a letter of invitation?" (Indians need a letter of invitation from a Romanian citizen to be granted a visa). I start telling her, "I do have a letter of invitation, but...", and as I am thinking about how to complete that sentence, she chimes in with, "..but it's in the luggage." and a smile.

I nod vigorously, notwithstanding the fact that I have no checked-in luggage and the hardcopy of the letter under question is in fact safely resting in my room in London.

Next, she asks if I remember the address where I'd be staying, which of course I don't because I don't even know it yet. So she asks if it is in Bucureşti, and I add that subtle touch of authenticity to my story by saying, "No, Sighişoara".

Passport control taken care of, I go through to the rental cars area in the "marketplace" between the two buildings of the airport.

Europcar, with whom I had made an online reservation, do not have a car for me. The person at the desk is polite but can't really help me, though he does try to contact the "headquarters" to see how the money I paid online for the reservation would be returned to me.

I am easily able to get an Opel Corsa from the Dollar/ Thrifty counter next door. Though my driving license is asked for and copied for records, it raises no suspicion that some letters on it seem extra dark. This makes me happy as these letters are actually a result of my printing over the original expiry date of the license issued in Florida.

You see, my license expired on 31 May along with my US visa, and therefore to rent a car I had to change the year in the expiration date. Anyway, as they say, it is forgery only if you get caught. In this particular case, I like to think I just used a little bit of poetic license (no pun intended).

So, I take the car issued on a non-forged, poetically-creative driving license, park it in the rental car return parking and go hunting for local currency since my car-rental clerk told me that as I had guessed, most places in town would accept cash only. Since I want to use my Barclays Bank card to pay, the currency exchange places want to convert my money from GBP to USD and then USD to EUR, and then would only pay me in EUR. "Bollocks!", I say, and just use my card to withdraw some cash in RON/Lei from an ATM.

Car and cash taken care of, I drive down to the town. As I get into the busy city roads, the complete lack of road signs makes me ponder over the irony of the fact that Europcar, which did not have a car available for me had some spare GPS's, but Dollar/ Thrify, which was able to rent me a car did not have any GPS devices available.

As one drives down from the "aeroport" into Bucureşti, the first thing one notices is the tram line bifurcating the street. The rails are very pronounced and surrounded by iron fencing at first, but as one gets get closer to the city, these gradually sink into the road till they become almost subtle.

Like the quintessential wanderer that I am, I drive around town, passing interesting buildings like Bucureşti Mall on the way. The night has fallen by the time I get to the Unirii Square (of course I don't know it is Unirii Square at the time) in the Centrul Civic area (city center).

Unirii Square is abuzz with activity. Like a central market in any large city, it is packed with huge billboards and electronic signs. The dancing fountains with their floral designs and mosaic patterns, however, prevent it from being tastelessly commercial. I park the car on the footpath by a fountain, and get out for some fresh air. And the cool breeze makes me want to lie down and sleep right there.

A text message from a friend reminds me that I need to find a place to spend the night. Oh, well, that shouldn't be much trouble in a capital city, I think. I spend a little more time wandering around the square, before setting off to find a place to hang my hat for the night. Easier said than done. It takes a few false starts, some getting lost into small lanes with charming houses that I swear I'd come back and shoot in the morning, and some driving around to find a little hotel arcross the road from Piata Progresso.

The receptionist calls the owner so that we may speak in English. While the single rooms are listed at 40 Lei a night, the owner tell me that none are available, of course, and that I'll have to get a double room for 100 Lei (typical bait and switch). That's not too bad a price, I think, and ask if they have Internet available in the rooms. The answer is "no", and that is a deal breaker.

So I take directions from some kids playing chess outside a florist shop, a couple of policemen, and a taxi driver, and combine them to navigate to Ibiz at Gara de Nord recommended by my friend. Ibiz is neat and modern, and at EUR 55 a night definitely more expensive than the crumbly, decreipt little place at Piata Progresso. Oh, and they charge you extra for parking (2 Lei an hour) and breakfast (15 Lei, I think). They have Internet available in rooms, but only via ethernet cables. If you don't have one, they'll happily sell one to you at the princely rate of EUR 7!

So be it, I think, and settle down for the night, but not before replacing my T-Mobile UK SIM with an Orange Romania SIM that I bought at a petrol pump/ gas station outside the airport. Tomorrow, as they say, is another day.

Click here to check out my pictures from Bucureşti of 21 Sept 2007.